Series 3 Episode 6 Hopes, Fears & Desires
by matureskinsfan
Summary: This is a follow up to my previous Episode 9 story but this time it's all about Naomi's episode. Once again I'm trying to get inside the hearts and minds of the characters and retell various scenes from a new angle/perspective. Enjoy and please review!
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

**This is my take on various scenes from Episode 6 of Series 3, mainly but not exclusively from Naomi's and Emily's points of view! This will be a familiar format to those of you who have read my Series 3 Episode 9 story except this one is all about Naomi's episode **

**This first chapter is told from Naomi's POV and the action starts from where she has left home in the morning to go to college. I hope you enjoy it and please do review if you can, whether you like the story or not! **

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I was still seething with anger as I approached the college and met up with the swarm of all the other students making their way in. The mass of student humanity tailed back as far as the eye could see but my thoughts were still firmly fixed on my bloody mother and her fucking do-gooding mentality. Well, I could hardly be blamed for not thanking my Mum profusely for inviting a complete stranger in to our house and giving him a bed for the night. Particularly when the bed in question happened to be _m_y bed and, more to the point, I was actually _already_ sleeping in it at the time she so generously extended the invitation!

It wouldn't have been quite so bad if this stranger had enjoyed more than a passing resemblance to Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp or some other hunk. Sadly for me he looked more like a disgusting tramp who had really let himself go a bit recently and he was the last thing you would want to find lying next to you first thing in the morning. Of course just to make my humiliation complete, I totally forgot at that moment that I always slept completely naked. So when I shot out of bed, hell bent on confronting my mother about the creature from the black lagoon, he got his own private viewing of my magnificent body free, gratis and for nothing.

So there I stood rooted to the spot, in my very embarrassed morning glory, while this tosser with the looks of Jesus (but without his charisma and generosity of spirit) stared at me without any shame and popped sexist comments about my butt-naked body. Has a day ever started so badly? Would I be able to recover my dignity and composure in time enough to deal with all the shit of a normal day in this godforsaken dump of a college? Could the start to the day possibly get any worse, I asked myself?

Shit! Fucking hell!! Of course it could! I suddenly spotted Emily standing to the side of the long line of students climbing up the bank of steps which led up to the college building. Fortunately she hadn't seen me, I was fairly sure of that, as she was looking away in another direction when I clocked her. I immediately ducked down as low as I could without making myself look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and made my way up the steps almost bent double as if in agony suffering from stomach cramps. I succeeded in making it to the top of the steps without catching her attention, though it was obvious to me that I was the person that she was so desperately lying in wait for.

Emily had been hanging around me like a lovesick puppy virtually the whole time since Pandora's pyjama party. Yes, _I know_ we kissed at the party! But we were both pretty pissed and fairly high after munching our way through all those brownies that Katie had spiked with MDMA. So anything I say about those three (or was it four?) kisses we shared being……well….. alright, I suppose, has to be taken with an uncommonly large pinch of salt. It certainly didn't mean I wanted her to be sticking to me like a leech for ever after like she'd been doing. Talk about me and my shadow! I felt like whenever I turned round, she'd be there like a bad penny, smiling at me with a ridiculously happy look on her face. It had been really getting on my tits. I like the girl, sure, but she seems to have singled me out for some reason to be her one and only best friend and I don't remember having filled in the application form for one of them.

Anyway I seemed to have succeeded in escaping her clutches for once so I made my way to my usual spot, breathing a huge sigh of relief. I have been in the habit recently of chilling out on some steps around the corner of the building to enjoy some relative peace and quiet. There I could smoke a last cigarette before dragging my sorry arse into college for the start of yet another thrilling day of further education. After a few blissful minutes to myself my valuable private thoughts were interrupted by the arrival on the scene of Kieran, my politics teacher. However he was one person who I had to admit I was in no hurry to run away from. .

Kieran was different from all the other teachers in the college for a number of reasons. Firstly, he absolutely hated being a fucking teacher and made little or no attempt to hide the fact. Worse, you'd have been hard pushed to find anyone less suited to the job of being a teacher than him. He was disorganised, lacked any real authority and, on the evidence of what I had seen so far, hated kids. Hardly what you'd call the ideal qualifications to be teaching anywhere let alone a shithole like Roundview College. Yet in a funny sort of way that's exactly why he was by a country mile my favourite teacher – because he refused to play the game or conform to the stereotype. He was very much his own man even though it made him seem like a fish out of water most of the time.

He often joined me here in the morning for a smoke and a chat before we both reluctantly dragged ourselves kicking and screaming to face up to the awful reality of our shared nightmare that was Roundview College. Today was another case in point for Kieran who said he was late meeting me because he'd been held up by our wonderful college director, otherwise variously known as Cruella de Vil or the Wicked Witch of the West. Apparently she wanted to send him on a motivation course or some such shit. Clearly his dislike for teaching most of the deadbeats and dickheads that passed for students here hadn't gone unnoticed up on high. What a fucking pointless exercise that would be! Let's just strip everyone of their personality and individuality, shall we, including the teachers.

Kieran asked after my Mum which only served to bring back the dreadful memory of this morning's incident in the bedroom and I moaned about her tiresome Mother Nature healing programme for a while. Fifteen people staying in our house and none of them paying rent, I pointed out to him. I didn't mention one of them staying rent-free in my bed though. Friend or not, that particular story was definitely not for public (or even pubic) consumption! Mind you, he did say that Mum couldn't be that bad if she made me which I thought was really sweet of him, even if it did sound a little bit cheesy!

He did finish on a note of mystery and intrigue, however, as the bell rang out loud and clear to signal that everyone had to report for parade inspection – or assembly as it's officially called - in five minutes. He said as we both made to leave that our glorious leader was summoning the whole college, teachers and students, to assembly and that I would like what she would have to say. When I tried to question him for more details he just waved behind him and said 'You'll see. Just be there, Missy!' I couldn't imagine what it could all be about but it hardly got my juices going or my pulse racing with excitement.

As I entered the student common room I saw Effy and Pandora sitting together and so I made my way over to them and sat down opposite them, looking around me nervously for any signs of Emily, but as yet she was nowhere to be seen. I caught Effy and Freddie exchanging meaningful glances from across the room and asked Effy what that was all about. As usual Effy said 'Nothing' in her customary enigmatic, non-communicative style. Pandora tried to open her mouth to answer my question for her but Effy's instant 'Shut up!' to Panda put paid to any chance of finding out what was going on between the two of them.

All of a sudden, just as Effy decided for some reason to get up and move away from us I heard my name being called out. I half turned round, certain in the knowledge of who I would see and sure enough there was Emily right at my shoulder, saying 'Hi!' with a cheery smile on her face and plonking herself down right next to me. I didn't have the heart to say 'oh for fuck's sake, why can't you leave me alone?' but I must have come pretty close to it. I knew it would have sounded incredibly rude and more than a bit unfair but right at that moment I felt as if the whole world was conspiring against me not to give me a moment's peace.

What happened next was in all honesty a bit overly theatrical for my liking but the lights suddenly went out to widespread screams, mainly from the Hair & Beauty set I imagined, and Doug appeared from nowhere, shining a torch up onto his face so we could see him.. He started spouting some crap about warring kingdoms settling an ancient score without resorting to bloodshed. It was obvious nobody had a Scooby-Doo what he was banging on about. Fortunately the college director soon cut that short by turning the lights back on and shutting up Doug in midstream before announcing to all of us that there was going to be an election next week for a Student President who would be chosen by votes from all the students. Fucking hell! Was that the big secret?

Barely had the college director finished her announcement than Emily was turning towards me and suggesting in an excited whisper that I ought to run for the position. Horrified at the idea, I shook my head, pulled a face and, without actually saying so, made it pretty clear to her, or so I thought, that I wasn't the least interested in standing for president. But it appeared that my protestations had fallen on deaf ears for minutes later she was pursuing me all around the place trying to persuade me to stand.

'You've got to be joking. I'm not going to help run this place!' I said as forcefully as I could without actually shouting it out from the rooftops. Emily tried desperately to get me to change my mind, trotting around behind me and coming up with all manner of ridiculous reasons why I should run for president.

'Come on, you know about politics, you're always talking about it, 'was her final feeble attempt at persuading me to stand and at that point I had had enough and I just couldn't stop the cutting put-down coming out of my mouth.

'Emily. We've had about three conversations in our entire lives, so the idea that you know I'm always talking about anything is a bit ridiculous.'

I knew even as I said it that it would come over as really hurtful and ungrateful. I could immediately see Emily's face turn all sad and forlorn and I felt a terrible pang of guilt at having so clearly upset her so much. After all it was quite flattering that she had such a high opinion of me that she thought I would make a really good president and I knew I shouldn't have reacted the way I just did. She looked down at the floor in embarrassment, muttered something or other that I didn't hear and started to walk away slowly, leaving me feeling absolutely rotten but not knowing what to do or say to put things right.

In any case, even if I had known Cook suddenly appeared on the scene from nowhere and instantly distracted me from thoughts of Emily by greeting us with a cheery 'Morning ladies!' and then a rather pathetic but predictable comment of 'Ah! Love is all around,' as he watched Emily walk away from me, clearly upset.

'Piss off,' I said to him vehemently and turned to leave but unfortunately he seemed determined not to let things rest with that. He proceeded to chat me up or at least that's what I imagine he thought he was doing. Using all the irresistible charm of Jack The Ripper he began badly by calling me Naomikins, which made my blood boil and almost made me vomit on the spot at the same time. He then went on to suggest that I 'should see more cock' as he delightfully and poetically put it. It was comforting to know that I figured so prominently in his thoughts. He reckoned that he and I should 'go to it' at which point I found it impossible to humour the misguided fucking twat any longer. I decided to let him know where we stood good and proper so there could be no room for doubt or misunderstanding.

'You've got about as much chance of fucking me as you have of becoming the democratically elected student president of this dump.' I figured that this would shut him up and put an end to his miserable, feeble attempts to impress and charm me into bed with him. However his reaction to what I thought was a fairly blunt and comprehensive brush off went way beyond my worst nightmares. It was more horrific than anything I could have dreamt up in my most masochistic and pessimistic of moods.

'Yeah? Well, I enjoy a challenge,' he nodded and then beamed at me with a huge grin forming on his face.

'What?' I replied in disbelief that he hadn't been put off by my ridiculous suggestion.

'Babe, you have got a deal.' He leaned forward almost right into my face, still grinning massively and I could have sworn he almost winked at me. I stood there speechless and aghast as the full significance of what he had just said came and smacked me right on the nose.

'No, no, no, no, no! I didn't mean it like that,' I said in frantic desperation but all to no avail. It was way too late to get out of it now. Cook had already turned his back on me and was walking away around the corner of the corridor, happy with the deal he felt he had just struck up with me. 'Guaranteed shag' were the last humiliating and depressing words I heard Cook say from out of sight. So there I stood, rooted to the spot for the second time that day, feeling totally embarrassed and furious for having brought so much fucking shit on myself. This was fast turning into one of the worst days of my life!!


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

**This chapter is told from Naomi's POV and covers the scenes from her being offered a lift home by Kieran up to Emily being asked to stay by Naomi after initially being snubbed by her. Any reviews will be most welcome!**

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I left the college building still pissed off with Cook after our latest war of words and battle of wills. It seemed like he was deadly serious about standing for president which had to be the biggest joke of the year – even more ridiculous than the idea of me running for the job. What had added insult to injury was that he had come out of the registration room only to find me sprawled all over the floor, legs akimbo and in a totally undignified and unladylike position. I had made a complete twat of myself by falling down from the boxes I had climbed up on to try to look inside the room to see who was in there.

Naturally Cook wasn't one to pass up an easy, heaven-sent opportunity to take the piss and embarrass me so obviously he had to point out that he could see my knickers, which infuriated me even more than I already was with him. We exchanged a few predictable insults about him standing for president and me fighting him off from 'making me feel alright' before I walked out on him. At least in doing so I had the presence of mind to give him the finger to show my complete contempt for him and his ridiculous attempts at flirting with me in an effort to get off with me.

The guy really does appear to have the most enormously inflated ego and laughably high opinion of himself as some kind of irresistible Casanova, at whose feet all the girls are supposed to swoon, begging to be the latest in his long line of conquests. Well, he doesn't impress me one iota. I'm certainly not going to be fooled by his bullshit, no matter how hard he tries. I've heard all his pathetic chat up lines many times before and they sound just as tired and weak coming from him as they did coming from every other guy who's trotted them out in the past.

I had made my way over to the bike sheds and car park area where I had left my bike this morning when I ran into Kieran again. He was standing by his car and I had the impression he had been sort of hanging around waiting for me because as I approached he immediately turned round and asked me if I wanted a lift home, to save me having to use my bike.

I was rather taken aback by his question – it was the first time he had ever offered to run me home- and for a brief moment or two I couldn't help wondering what his motives might have been. Okay, I really liked him as a teacher and I suppose you could say we got on pretty well as 'mates' but that was as far as it went – for me, anyway. But I quickly dismissed my initial suspicions. He's only offering you a lift home, for God's sake. Stop reading too much into it, girl! So I accepted his offer.

Of course that was before I had had the benefit of a closer inspection of his car, if car is what it really was. It would be more accurate to describe it as a motorised, rust-covered, multi-dented, metal contraption whose primary purpose was a people carrier but which looked like it might collapse into pieces if anyone actually _sat _in it for any length of time, let alone attempted to drive in it. It appeared to have all the solidity and sturdiness of a fruit trifle and doubtless it could only achieve a top speed of twenty-five miles an hour in a following wind.

Kieran tried to open the passenger door for me but gave up after a couple of fruitless tugs at the handle. He ran round to the driver's side, got in the car and proceeded to hammer at the door several times with his feet as he fully stretched himself out on the seats before the battered old door finally relented to this punishment and flew open. I don't know why this particular thought came into my mind but I couldn't help thinking that as a potential shag-wagon it really was a non-starter- in more ways than one.

I climbed inside and discovered fractionally too late what Kieran meant when he said 'Mind the spring' as a sharp pricking sensation passed right up my jacksy as I nervously sat down on my seat. As Kieran furiously tried turning on the ignition, becoming more frustrated with each feverish attempt to get it going, I couldn't help passing comment on this useless heap of metal we were sitting in.

'This is some automobile you've got here.' He readily acknowledged the fact by joking that it had cost him £2.50 plus three tokens from the top of Weetabix packets to which I replied that I really could believe that. After a few more desperate attempts to get the thing going, which only succeeded in making him go redder in the face with the effort he finally admitted defeat and asked me if I could give him a lift on my bike. He's got a great sense of humour and I couldn't help laughing at the glorious comedy of his request.

So out we got, I went and fetched my bike and we set off together on foot as Kieran pushed my bike for me and I walked along beside him. We must have looked a right odd couple to anyone watching us but I found I really liked his company and the fact that we weren't riding home in his battered old car didn't make me enjoy the journey home any less. We chatted about all sorts of things during our slow, relaxed walk home but as we got nearer to my house the conversation turned to the college director's announcement that morning about the student president election.

Kieran explained it was all part of the college's love note to OFSTED and that it would make us look good to have a student president. He let me into a secret that he had actually run for office once upon time in his dim and distant past. Apparently he stood in the Bristol City Council elections as the Workers Unite candidate over ten years ago. He said he got six votes of which three were from people he actually knew!

That made me laugh and it struck me how easy he was to listen to and talk to. He was funny, interesting and a cool guy to boot. In fact he was _so_ much more fun to be with than any of the boys at the college who I'd come across so far – not that that was saying much, to be honest. They were a singularly dull, uninspiring bunch of masculinity and Kieran had more charisma and charm in his little finger than the rest of them would ever acquire in their lifetimes.

He went on to confess that after his spectacular political 'success', he decided to become a teacher and devote his life to shaping the young minds of tomorrow, only to discover to his horror that his students didn't actually have any minds, just mild jangling things between their ears. This sentiment I could definitely sympathise with.

What I had seen of my fellow sixth form students to date didn't exactly reveal any obvious signs of great intellect and imagination.

As we came to a halt outside my house, Kieran looked at me, reached into his jacket pocket, pulled out a student president application form which he held out to me and said 'I really think you should stand.'

I was mildly shocked at his suggestion which came right out of the blue and could only reply feebly 'What? Why?'

'Come on, you're the best. We both know it.'

I couldn't help feeling incredibly flattered by the praise he was lavishing upon me – what girl wouldn't like having their ego massaged like that by anyone, let alone the nicest guy in the whole college.

'Is that a compliment? Are you complimenting me?' I asked in a manner that I suppose, with the benefit of hindsight, might have appeared a touch flirtatious, but I was genuinely touched by his praise and wanted to let him know how grateful I was for this unexpected vote of confidence he had just given me.

'Oh I've got a few compliments in me, 'he replied with his typical Irish understated charm. But he then seemed suddenly distracted by something going on over my shoulder, which was confirmed when he asked me half seriously, half jokingly. 'Is it my drug problem or is someone waving at that window?'

I turned round to see with horror that my Mum was standing at the front window, smiling and waving at us like a complete idiot. I couldn't stop myself from blurting out how totally embarrassing I thought she was and I covered my head with my hands in shame, unable to bring myself to look at her again. Kieran said he wanted to meet her but I flatly refused to entertain the idea of inviting him in and introducing him to her. Christ knows what an utter disaster that would have been! I dread to think what things she would have told him about me!

I said goodbye and made towards the house, only to have second (or possibly even third) thoughts, turned right round and went back to where he was still standing and took the application form from his hand, muttering thanks to him before this time heading for the front door. The poor guy did look a bit bemused by my strange actions and continued to stand on the pavement watching in silence as I parked my bike and went in through the front door. I'm usually very decisive and know my mind quite clearly but on this occasion something, maybe some strange voice inside my head, was telling me to take the application form, even if it was just to read it and pretend to fill it in – only for something to do, obviously!

As I entered the house the bearded guy who I'd woken up with that morning and the woman who saw bananas as some kind of symbol of male domination were having a stand up row in the hallway. More and more I was feeling like a complete stranger in my own house. This motley collection of social misfits, waifs and strays had well and truly taken over the asylum that used to be my home and I was feeling increasingly marginalised day by day. My mother's obsession with communal living and 'back to nature' approach to life was grating on me and this scene that confronted me now when I arrived home didn't exactly improve my already flaky mood.

I became even more irritated and frustrated when Mum immediately started making comments about Kieran who she'd seen talking to me outside. It felt like I was being interrogated as soon as I walked in and that I was under some kind of Big Brother surveillance where all my actions were being monitored in minute detail. Even when I told her he wasn't some new boyfriend but my politics teacher, she still wouldn't let it rest.

'OK. I was just saying. It's nice to see you with a guy, it makes a change!' she said, smiling sweetly at me in that infuriating way of hers.

'What was that supposed to mean?' I thought. What are you trying to imply? That I'm gay? You really don't know what you're talking about, Mum. You are completely out of touch with reality and you don't even know your own daughter any more! All these criticisms I left unsaid as I stormed away from her after she'd told me that someone had stolen the television from my room. Jesus! Why don't I just offer them the shirt off my back as well and have done with it? I felt like I didn't belong here any more. It was more their house than mine.

I stomped into my bedroom, still cursing out loud at the impossibility of getting any peace and quiet in the place, only to find when I opened the door that I already had a visitor, calmly sitting on the bed waiting for me. Who else could it have been but Emily, my very own personal stalker and number one obsessive fan? She turned her big brown eyes on me as I stood in the doorway as if she was half afraid at what my reaction to her being there would be. I admit my first words to her could have been a bit more polite but my frustrations with life just boiled over as I sighed in exasperation and bluntly asked her 'How did _you_ get in here?'

She explained that some weird guy who looked like Jesus had let her in which figured. That was the guy who I'd unwittingly shared a bed with last night and who seemed to have taken on the alpha male role in the house – as if we fucking needed one! As I pointed out to Emily it was fast becoming like a Christ-themed game of Guess Who around here. Why had she come round to see me? This was the first time she'd actually stalked me from _inside_ my own house so she had to have a good reason to be here.

'What do you want?' I asked, equally bluntly and without a hint of warmth in my tone of voice. I just wasn't in the mood for nicey-nicey conversation. When she replied that she had just come to give me an application form for student president I had to laugh inwardly. She was fucking relentless, I couldn't deny it. She had spent the whole morning trying to persuade me to stand even though I had made it perfectly clear I wasn't remotely interested in the idea and yet she still hadn't given up hope of getting me to change my mind. I had to award her ten out of ten for determination and persistence!

I contented myself with saying 'You're very annoying,' which I suppose, in the circumstances, given the foul mood I was in, wasn't half as bad as it could have been.

'Yeah, well, you seem to inspire it in me,' she replied with a half smile and more than a touch of self-deprecating humour. Somehow that one little joke at both our expenses seemed to break the ice and I mellowed a bit.

'Jinx,' I said putting down on the bed next to hers my copy of the form which I had taken from Kieran.

'You're going to run. Great! I'll help you with the form.' She had clearly made my mind up for me already and had decided also that I wasn't capable of filling out a simple form without her valuable input. Fuck me! This girl was trying to take over my entire life, just like everyone else was. I wasn't having it, a point which I forcibly made very directly and, I'm almost ashamed to say, without a word of appreciation or gratitude.

'No, Emily. I don't need any help.' I looked at her calmly with a blank expression on my face which I hoped would make her realise that to argue further with me would be pointless and a waste of time. She looked mildly disappointed but hardly crushed as I thought she might be and merely said 'Right. OK. Well, see you,' in a resigned, matter-of-fact kind of voice and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

For once she had surprised me. In fact I was a bit stunned by her quiet, casual departure. I had expected more protests, entreaties and desperate attempts to change my mind but no. Nothing but a simple acceptance of my firm declining of her offer. I was gobsmacked and, if I'm honest with myself, more than a touch hurt and disappointed by her reaction. For some reason, even though I had become seriously irritated by her persistent hanging around me recently I felt far more hurt when she gave the impression of not caring about me as, in a sense, she had done just now. Why was it that I didn't want her to be so obsessive about being my friend and yet I didn't like it at all when she behaved as if being my friend was no big deal? I was confused and couldn't explain this apparent contradiction in my feelings towards Emily.

I hadn't moved from my position as these thoughts and feeling were flying around inside me when after a few seconds the door suddenly flew open and there was Emily standing in the doorway. This time she was no longer calm, resigned and casual in her reaction. This time she spoke with real feeling and emotion and she stared deep into my eyes as she made her impassioned speech.

'Just so you know, my first thought when I see you is not 'I want to fuck that girl!'

I was shocked at the brutal honesty and imagery of her remarks as well as the manner in which they were delivered. My eyes opened wide in surprise as I started to reply, 'No, I…' but she was in full flow and wasn't going to let me interrupt her before she'd finished saying what she had come back to say.

'We've kissed. Twice. It was nice but it's also nice just being with you…..when you're not being a prick, that is!!'

I pondered her words for a second or too as she had seemingly stopped to see what my reaction would be and all I could think to say was a rather limp and unconvincing 'Thanks.' I felt a mixture of emotions after what she'd said – happy, sad, ashamed, embarrassed, confused. In short, I was experiencing a real hotchpotch of contrasting feelings which I had to try to pick the bones out of somehow. But Emily hadn't quite finished yet; she had one final point to make.

'I think you should run for president because I think you'd be good at it. It's that simple, okay?'

Fair enough, I thought. That's pretty clear cut. Maybe I've misjudged her on the issue of the presidency thing. I had assumed she was just using it as an excuse to get to be my friend but it would seem she really does believe I would make a good president and is one hundred percent behind me, with 'no strings attached'. I felt really sorry about the way I had treated her generally and in particular the way I had spoken to her since I found her in my room. I knew I had to begin to make amends right away.

'OK. Then you should…..stay.' I said hesitantly and nervously, unsure how she would react to this intended olive branch.

'Thanks,' she said, looking at me with no discernible emotion betrayed on her delicate round face. 'I will.' She closed the door softly behind her and moved over to sit on the bed as I watched her in silence.

I was glad she had taken accepted my 'apology' and had agreed to stay. I didn't know how the rest of the day was going to develop between us, how long she was going to stay but I was happy just to see how things went. It seemed as if certain feelings which had been kept hidden inside us had now been brought out into the open and in a way I reckoned that was probably a good thing. These things had needed to be said for Emily and me to be able to 'move forward' with our 'relationship' or friendship' – I still didn't quite know how to describe it. Maybe we could now start afresh with a clean slate and with no preconceptions about each other. Let's just see what happens.


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

**This chapter is told from Emily's POV and carries on from where the last chapter finished, with Emily eventually being invited by Naomi to stay and hang out with her in her room. Hope you enjoy it and, as ever, all reviews will be really appreciated!**

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After the most unpromising of beginnings, to put it mildly, this was rapidly turning out to be one of the best days of my entire life. Certainly I had never spent as much time in Naomi's exclusive company as I had managed today. That alone was a good enough reason for me to believe that this was a real landmark moment for me. We had been chilling out with each other in her bedroom for hours now and Naomi hadn't remotely looked like she was bored with my company and wanted me to go and leave her in peace. Yes!!!!!! Result!!

For the first time since we'd started at Roundview College I felt that Naomi wasn't just 'putting up with me' and merely tolerating my presence around her. I honestly believed that she genuinely wanted me to be there with her. In fact all the signs were, unless I'd been horribly misreading the situation in the last few hours, that she was really happy for me to be with her in her bedroom. Not that we'd been doing anything much, nothing _like that _obviously. We'd just been having a laugh and generally chilling out, like girls do – like girl friends do, even! Wow!

The first thing we did after Naomi surprisingly changed her mind and asked me to stay was to get to grips with filling out the application form for Student President. The pair of us stretched ourselves out on the rug down beside her bed, which wasn't anywhere near as uncomfortable as you might have thought, not that I would have cared or frankly even noticed if it had been! Filling out the form wasn't exactly what you would call the greatest intellectual challenge of our lives. It was just a couple of pages long and the questions you were being asked to answer were hardly groundbreaking, imaginative or particularly searching.

'Tell us about your political views' was the first one. Well, that was like a red rag to a bull for Naomi. She was putting pen to paper on that one almost before she'd finished reading it out! It wasn't long before she was moaning and cursing that they hadn't left anywhere near enough space on the form for her to provide a proper answer. I think she ended up continuing on an additional sheet of paper so she could get everything down that she wanted to say. If it had been me, I could have answered that point in about one sentence as I don't really have any political views! In that respect, as in so many other ways, I couldn't help thinking, I was the complete opposite to Naomi.

'Tell us about your campaign ideas' was the second section to fill in. There again, Naomi had so many things she wanted to say, like trying to create closer co-operation and discussion between teachers and students, one-to-one involvement with all her fellow students, representing the college in nationwide forums and conventions and so on and so on. It seemed strange to me that someone who had pooh-poohed the idea of standing for Student President so vehemently when I had first suggested it to her should have given it so much thought afterwards, which she clearly must have done. I didn't know whether I had had any influence on that change of heart. Maybe my persistent hounding of her to stand over the last few days had finally persuaded her that I had a point. That's what I wanted to believe, anyway!

After about an hour and a half Naomi had completed the form - with a fair degree of input from me also, I should add. I wasn't exactly a spare part in the process and she seemed really grateful for all the help I had given her, particularly with the phrases and expressions she used to get her ideas across. I have always been good at English and knowing the right things to say in any given context, though I say so myself! Nothing wrong with blowing your own trumpet every now and then, that's what I say!

In fact the thing that we spent the most time over was arguably the most unimportant – her campaign slogan. But that was largely because we ended up rolling around the floor in fits of giggles half the time as we tried desperately to think of a catchy, yet appropriate slogan. Some of the ones we dreamed up were absolute non-starters, mainly because they were too rude, suggestive or controversial.

'Vote for Naomi! I'm not a complete wanker like Cook!' 'For fucks sake, don't put a bloke in charge!' 'Vote for Naomi – vote for the only multi-tasker standing!' Naomi – she can scratch her balls AND talk at the same time!'

We came up with dozens more just like those, each one of which had us howling with laughter, so much so that at one point Naomi's Mum even knocked on the door to check that we were alright and that one of us wasn't ill or in some kind of pain. Which in point of fact we were, as we were laughing and giggling so violently that our sides started to hurt and we both ended up with a stitch from the excessive laughter.

Of course the two bottles of vodka that Naomi had, as if by magic, produced from one of her drawers may have contributed ever so slightly to the general atmosphere of mirth and merriment that developed as each of us tried to outdo the other with our slogan suggestions. We were lying next to each other on the carpet by that time, but facing opposite directions so that our heads were bang in line with each other's stomachs.

We were taking it in turns to swig at the contents of our bottles and I have to admit that I was beginning to feel a little bit tipsy already. I wasn't used to drinking vodka neat and after the initial shock of the first swig, which nearly took out the back of my mouth, I kind of got rather too easily used to the powerful, warm liquid sliding comfortingly down my throat.

'I can just see it now - in lights,' I said as I lay on my back wriggling with quiet contentment, as I felt the warmth of Naomi's shoulder and arm close up against mine. 'Naomi – get to know me!' I couldn't suppress a loud giggle as I turned to look at Naomi who was laughing also.

'I thought it was quite catchy,' Naomi tried to defend her own personal favourite suggestion for a slogan but I wasn't having any of it. I was in a wonderful place right now, I felt in a quite intoxicating mood and I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to get the most fun and happiness I could out of it. Who knew how long it would last or if it would ever be repeated?

'Yeah, well, so is AIDS,' I responded and couldn't stop myself laughing at my own joke, which I know is seriously bad form, but fortunately Naomi laughed and giggled at it also so I got away with it. We lay in quiet contentment for a little while after that and then Naomi broke the silence by turning her head towards me and asking very seriously and nervously, 'Do you think I can do it?'

I was very surprised at her sudden lack of self-confidence and apparent need for moral support and ego-boosting. I was seeing a different side to Naomi for the first time. This was a Naomi who came across as rather vulnerable, not nearly so confident and sure of herself. But she needn't have worried. She should have guessed that I would be all too eager to tell her how wonderful I thought she was and how I believed she could do anything in the world if she wanted to and if she was prepared to put her mind to it. So that's precisely what I said to her and she sounded genuinely pleased, even thrilled to hear me say that about her.

I didn't dare turn my head round to look at her, partly because I was afraid she would see me blushing ever so slightly and partly because my heart was thumping so loudly with the excitement of being this physically close to her that I didn't trust myself not to throw myself on top of her if I caught sight of her gorgeous body. Suddenly without a word of warning she half sat up, turning over onto side and propped herself up on one elbow. She looked right at me with a half smile and a cheeky twinkle in her eyes. I wondered what she was going to say next and I followed suit, struggling with obvious difficulty to sit up, whilst trying to get as close to her as I dared.

'I've been wondering…….what do lesbians….. do? ……I mean, in bed.'

We were both giggling almost uncontrollably after she came out with this shock question and I took an immediate swig at the bottle of vodka I was holding to try to mask my astonishment and embarrassment.

'I know what you _mean_!' I said, smiling broadly at Naomi, though still as much with embarrassment as with humour. 'Why would I know?!' I protested, struggling to prevent my voice from bursting out in a shriek of mild outrage. Why did she think I would know? Talk about a leading question. I didn't know quite what to say, really. If she hadn't been grinning at me in that incredibly understated sexy way of hers, I think I might have been a tad upset at such a question, especially if anyone else but she had asked it.

'You mean you've never….she continued unabashed with the probing questions but I interrupted her before she could finish it.

'No! I've never..' but I couldn't finish my sentence this time as I burst out into giggles and lowered my face to hide a renewed onset of blushing that I could sense was coming on. Naomi was giggling and smiling likewise and it seemed that each of us was setting the other one off, almost as if we were trying to outdo each other in making the other one laugh.

'I mean, is it all brogues and strap-ons and…..' Naomi clearly had no intention of letting the topic of conversation drop, although I suspected this was mainly due to the fact that she could see we were both finding it hilarious. She was swigging huge gulps of vodka from her bottle just as often as I was and it was highly likely that the drink was having a big say in the direction our conversation had been going in the last couple of minutes.

'No!!' I screamed, when I was able to stop giggling, that is. 'I don't know. They just…. do what we do to ourselves… only… to each other and probably slightly more aggressively and with…..you know……oils and stuff.'

I had absolutely no idea where that stuff about oils had come from but as soon as I said it I collapsed into a fit of laughter, as did Naomi. When I had just about calmed down I looked straight at Naomi whose beautiful face was now only a few inches away from mine. She in turn looked right back at me, her gaze never once leaving my nervous, smiling, happy yet still embarrassed face. We contemplated each other in an unspoken blissful contentment for a short while as she was clearly mulling over the utter crap I had just made up off the top of my head. Jesus! What if she thought I really did know what I was talking about? Could I ever live that down? What if she told everyone at school?

But her next remark and the manner in which she expressed it put my worried mind at rest.

'Oils, eh?' she said. I could see she was really struggling to keep a straight face as she said it and that instantly made me feel so much better. She knew I was only mucking about it and she was joining in, because she felt completely comfortable in doing so with me. All of a sudden I felt we were sharing a peculiar intimacy the like of which I had never experienced with anyone else in my life before, let alone another girl.

I couldn't have imagined having a conversation about sex like this with Naomi a few weeks ago. In fact a few weeks ago any hope of an amicable, private conversation about anything at all with Naomi would have seemed complete pie in the sky. I really had made an incredible breakthrough in our relationship and yet ironically I now felt more terrified than ever before. Now I had something to lose. Before today there was nothing between us of any description and so nothing had been at stake. There was now. Now I sensed there was something precious and special between us and I didn't want to let that go.

'Yeah. And stuff.' I replied to her facetious half question and giggled furiously again, which in turn set her off in similar fashion. She gently leaned back on to the carpet, resuming her original position before the subject of brogues, strap-ons and oils had been introduced, and I followed suit, taking another swig of vodka as I did so. I had to keep my courage and nerve together somehow and the vodka appeared to be working wonders for my confidence and wit.

'Oilszzzzzzz!' Naomi deliberately exaggerated the word for comic effect and it worked a treat as it set me off again on another fit of giggling laughter.

'Yeah. Lots of it. Oilszzzzz.' I couldn't hold myself back now, I was on a roll and Naomi seemed to be loving it which only served to encourage me to carry on with this harmless yet hugely enjoyable silliness.

'Where do you put it? …Oils.' Naomi asked.

I sniggered once more and answered as quick as a flash. 'On salad.' God, I was in fine form now, I had to admit. I couldn't remember when I had last been in such a quick witted mood and in such a relaxed frame of mind with anyone. Naomi had seemingly brought me out of my self-imposed straight jacket without even deliberately trying. I felt an overwhelming sense of release, a surge of energy and confidence which was so unlike me normally. Clearly Naomi is good for my soul, I thought.

Naomi also seemed more chilled out, relaxed and at ease with me _and _herself than I had ever noticed before. True, she was on her own turf, being in her own bedroom. This was her pitch; she was very much in her comfort zone. But there was more to it than just that, I was convinced. Ever since I had plucked up the courage to go back in to the room and say my piece, Naomi had been totally different with me. She had opened up to me, well, a little anyway, more than I had seen her ever do before. She had allowed me to catch a glimpse of her soul, of the inner workings of her mind and I was so grateful to have been afforded that rare opportunity. It made me hungry and eager for more, but then I was always left longing for more of Naomi whenever I had been with her, no matter what the circumstances.

We carried on talking and drinking for what must have been hours. I can't remember what we talked about – probably a complete load of nonsense in the end as the drink eventually numbed our senses and dulled our razor-sharp minds. It must have been about midnight when Naomi said she was practically dropping off and told me I should stay the night with her. My heart did a couple of somersaults, tripped along the high wire and raced the Wall of Death for good measure. She made it pretty obvious that there was a space for me in bed next to her. No suggestion of a sleeping bag on the floor or the sofa in the living room. No, I was invited to share a bed with her!!!

I nearly died and went to heaven on the spot.

Five minutes later, after we had separately undressed and paid a lightening visit to the bathroom, we were in bed together. I was beginning to feel distinctly giddy and light-headed and it wasn't just the effect of all that vodka. I was so excited and turned on by just sharing a bed with her I could barely breathe, despite the fact that there was a reasonable distance between the two of us.

I could nevertheless sense the warmth of her body close to mine; I was able to use my overactive imagination to see through the T-shirt she was wearing. Even though we didn't touch at all, not even briefly or accidentally, or kiss each other goodnight, I still was so happy I could almost have burst into tears for joy. I didn't though as I wouldn't have been able to make up a good reason for it without making her feel uneasy about sharing her bed with me any longer.

How I drifted off into a deep sleep with the state of excitement I was in, I'll never know, but drift off I obviously did, my head full of the sweetest dreams of Naomi, my new best friend and my latest ( okay, I know, my _first_!) sleeping partner.


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

**This chapter is told from both Emily's and Naomi's POV and picks up from the morning after the night before when Emily has her first sleepover at Naomi's . I'd love to hear any reviews –as ever they will be invaluable, whether they are good or bad!**

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NAOMI'S POV

I woke up next morning to find I was hugging an empty bottle of vodka close to my chest as if I had been afraid someone was going to try to steal it from me during the night. Not that an empty bottle of vodka would have been worth anyone's while to even bother nicking. Furthermore, that wasn't the only unusual thing I discovered in my bed on waking up.

Emily was also there, fast asleep on the other side of the bed with her back turned towards me. I looked at the empty bottle, then looked at Emily again and wondered if there was a direct connection between these two interlopers in the bed which as a rule I occupied alone. Would Emily have been there if the bottle had still been more or less full? I didn't know for sure but I suspected as much.

I contemplated in silence the peacefully sleeping redhead who was still completely out of it as far as I could tell from her rhythmical, gentle breathing. There was no sign of even the slightest movement from her and as I gazed at her sleepily I felt a strange kind of compulsion come over me. Without quite knowing why I felt an irresistible urge to stretch out a hand towards her and start running my fingers softly through her gorgeous red hair.

I must have played with her hair for only a few seconds, no more than that, and then I withdrew my hand away sharply as if I had received an unexpected electric shock. 'Jesus! For fuck's sake!' I whispered to myself. There's a girl sleeping next to you in your bed who you hardly knew until yesterday and you're running your bloody fingers through her hair like she's your long-time partner! Get a fucking grip, Naomi!

I shot out of bed before I had time to consider if I was over-reacting a touch to the situation and bent down to pick up my toiletry bag from the floor, dressed only in my bra and knickers. Thank heavens for small mercies! At least _this time_ I wasn't stark naked like the last time I woke up to find someone in my bed next to me. Mind you, waking up next to Emily was infinitely preferable to waking up to the sight of the look alike Messiah!

Christ! Do I really mean that? I wondered briefly. I mean at least he was a guy, even if he was a pretty poor specimen of the male species. Why should waking up next to Emily seem so much nicer? I thought about it for a few more seconds but couldn't come up with a definitive answer. I just instinctively knew it to be true.

I crept out of the room on tiptoes, doing my utmost not to wake Emily. The last thing I wanted right then was an early morning conversation with her about last evening, dressed in next to nothing. I don't think I could have faced that at all, I would have felt so embarrassed and lost for words. I felt an urgent need to reclaim my own space again, after having allowed my inner sanctum to have been penetrated by Emily so intimately, or so it seemed to me, last evening. I knew it looked bad, leaving her alone in my bed like that, but in my own mind I had no option. I had to run out on her and take the consequences, whatever they might be. In any case, why should she be upset? It's not as if we're together, for fuck's sake! We're not even best friends, are we? She's just a friend who slept over for the night. No more than that - she doesn't own me!

I washed, dressed and breakfasted in almost record time, such was my haste to be out of the house before Emily could wake up and come looking for me. I didn't usually leave as early as this but that didn't matter to me that morning. I could quite happily while away the extra time somewhere or other, on my own. I could do some course work in a secluded little spot all where I wouldn't be disturbed. I got out my bike, wheeled it noiselessly down the garden path and out onto the road and I was away. I'd made it. Freedom!

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EMILY'S POV

When I awoke, it was to find with the most crushing disappointment that I was all alone in Naomi's bed. I waited a while to see if she had just nipped out to the bathroom but after ten minutes or so I had to accept that she had gone and left me to fend for myself in her own home without so much as a word. I was pretty upset at what she'd done, if I was being honest. It wasn't that I was expecting a 'good morning' kiss and hug from her – although that would have been absolutely brilliant, if rather unlikely!

But she could have at least left a message for me to say that she had had to leave and that she would see me later on in college. Surely that wasn't too much to ask for, was it? I didn't think she could be that thoughtless or inconsiderate after the progress our friendship had made last night.. Just to leave me in her bed and run out on me like that after the fabulous evening we had spent together seemed so…..I don't know……so callous and uncaring. Maybe she was too embarrassed to face me first thing in her bed? Could that have been it? On waking up, could she have regretted having invited me to stay over and share her bed?

But it wasn't as if anything actually happened between us! What could there possibly have been for her to be embarrassed about? Nothing, as far as I could see. But her sudden early departure did signal one thing fairly clearly to me. She didn't feel the same way about me as I did about her. If she did, she wouldn't have just abandoned me in her bed the way she did. She would definitely have wanted to wake up next to me and say good morning, with a big smile on her face and joy in her heart.

A mischievous idea popped into my head all of a sudden and I searched around Naomi's room to find a piece of paper and something to write with, eventually finding both. I thought I would scribble my own little message for Naomi, seeing as she couldn't be bothered to leave one for me. It was nothing heavy, no great pearls of wisdom; just a few simple words to sum up how I was feeling about the situation. I left it on the bed where she was bound to see it. It just said 'Emily slept here' and I drew an arrow to show where I had slept in relation to Naomi! I wondered how she would take it. I'd have given my right arm to be there when she found it and to see the expression on her face. What would it show, I speculated idly. Happiness, amusement, confusion? Or maybe indifference, embarrassment or even horror? I don't suppose I'll ever know unless I ask her directly and I'm not sure I'll have the nerve to do that.

I got dressed as quickly as I could after writing the note and crept downstairs, fully intending to sneak out of the house and go back home. So imagine my surprise when I ran into Naomi's Mum in the hallway! She, on the other hand, didn't appear at all surprised or put out to see me and greeted me with a lovely, warm smile, which I found incredibly sweet, considering I had never met her before.

'Hello! You must be Naomi's friend. Emily, isn't it?'

I don't know what shocked me more – running into her or the fact that she knew my name. For a second or two I was struck dumb – I must have come across as a right idiot, looking back on it now.

'Um, yes. Hi!' I smiled rather nervously back at her and gave a sort of moronic little wave with my hand, like I was the fucking Queen! Jesus, what_ had_ got into me?! Was I still light-headed and in a daze after last night or what?

In such a situation normally, I would expect to have been asked me who the hell I was and what the hell I was doing creeping around someone's house at this time of the morning. But far from it, as it turned out. She couldn't have been lovelier or kinder.

'I'm Gina, Naomi's mother, as I'm sure you've guessed. I'm afraid you've missed Naomi, she's already gone.'

'Yes, I know.' I hoped the disappointment I was still feeling about that didn't come over too obviously in my tone of voice.

'Come and have a cup of tea before you go. The kettle's just boiled. It'll be no trouble.'

She was so nice and sweet that I didn't have the heart to decline her offer, much as though I wanted to get back home to change for school. I thanked her and followed her into the kitchen whereupon she invited me to sit down at the table where breakfast had clearly already been laid out. She carefully poured out the tea into a cup and put it down in front of me.

'You're in Naomi's form at college, aren't you?' Gina asked with another friendly smile and a twinkle in her eyes.

'Yeah,' I replied, wondering where this might all lead to, not that she was making me feel uncomfortable at all – quite the opposite, in fact. 'I've known her since middle school, although we weren't really what you'd call friends back then.'

'I _thought _I'd heard your name mentioned before. But you're friends now though, aren't you? '

I nodded and smiled, but deep down I wasn't one hundred per cent certain that that was the case, at least from Naomi's point of view, especially after she had so cruelly upped and left me this morning.

'That's nice, said Gina with yet another dazzling smile – the sort of infectious smile that probably would light up any room she was in and make everyone around her feel happy and loved. She was still very beautiful, I thought, even though I guessed she must have been in her early forties.

'Naomi's never had that many friends that I can remember. It's quite a rare event for anyone to come round to see her here, let alone stay the night. You must be a very close friend indeed for her to have allowed you to do that!'

I wasn't sure quite how to respond to that cryptic comment about Naomi never having had any friends round there before. If I _was_ the first to be invited to hang out with her in her fortress of a bedroom, then I should feel very honoured and privileged, I suppose. Suddenly that knowledge made me feel much better about myself and my still uncertain and undefined relationship with the tall blonde. I contented myself with a broad smile at Gina and continued to drink my tea.

Without gulping it down, which it was too hot to do anyway, I finished drinking it as soon as I could. I made my excuses to Gina for having to rush off, saying I had to return home before going to college, and I left the house, having thanked her for the tea. She told me how lovely it was to meet me and said that she hoped she would see me again very soon. I responded in kind and couldn't help giving her a genuine, big smile as she saw me out through the front door.

She was one of those women who you just _had_ to like, I thought as I made my way back home. There was a warm, homely, welcoming vibe about her that instantly made you feel relaxed and comfortable around her. It struck me that she seemed very different from Naomi in that respect. With Naomi, it seemed like you had to pass a number of rigorous and complicated initiation tests before you were even considered worthy of being invited into her immediate environment - and then only on a short-term visitor's pass! With Gina you got the impression that the doors would always be flung open wide, urging you to come in any time you liked, day or night, without even having to ask for permission. Like mother, like daughter? I didn't think so!!

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NAOMI'S POV

As I rode my bike up towards the college entrance, carefully weaving in and out of the crowds of my fellow students walking to school that morning, I could tell that something unusual was going on. The nearer I got to the college the more I could hear the sounds of loud cheering, clapping and shouting. As I got within sight of the college building I slowed down and observed with a mixture of horror and disbelief the scene that was taking place before my eyes.

Cook had somehow got up onto the top of the college roof and was shouting down to the hordes of pathetic, adoring supporters who were gathered below him. They were wildly cheering him and clearly lapping up every stupid word he was screaming down at them through a megaphone he had somehow got his hands on – maybe it was Doug's, the thought occurred to me. He was whipping them up into a kind of orgiastic frenzy of support, shouting out things like 'We want to party!', 'Cook before education!' Really helpful stuff, you know. Just the sort of serious policies a Student President candidate should be campaigning on! Tosser!!

He appeared to be wearing some sort of beret and he was continually punching the air like some prize boxer intent on playing to the crowd who had come to worship him at his altar. A huge banner hung down from the roof, almost reaching to the ground, on which a giant picture of Cook could be seen with the words 'Cook Guevara' emblazoned across it. I would have been surprised if Cook had even _heard_ of Che Guevara before this election, never mind known what the hell he was famous for!

I drew up slowly alongside Freddie whom I had seen standing just ahead of me, rooted to the spot, presumably equally freaked out and pissed off by what his one of his best mates was getting up to. I suddenly realised that someone else was up on the roof with Cook but I was too far away to be able to make out who it was. I asked Freddie who it was and he replied, 'JJ' with an unmistakeable note of disappointment in his voice He shook his head with frustration and bemusement at the scene taking place in front of us as the crowd got ever more hysterical and Cook responded even louder to the frenzied chanting of his name.

'I think I've lost him,' said Freddie, not taking his eyes off his two mates as they pranced about on the roof.

'Who? JJ?' I replied, not quite sure which of them he meant, but presuming him it was JJ.

Freddie paused briefly before answering with a heavy sigh, so it seemed. 'Yeah. Him too.'

'Is this about Effy?' I guessed his hesitant reply was an oblique reference to Cook's 'relationship' – or uncomplicated, no strings attached shagging, to be more precise – with Effy who I think all of our gang knew or suspected Freddie really liked a lot.

I told him he ought to just tell her how he felt about her but he said that he already had, which surprised me a little. Freddie had actually got off his bone idle backside and done something for once! Jesus, whatever next? But it didn't seem as if it had done any good, judging by the expression on his face when he made his final comment before leaving me.

'It should make a difference when someone loves you, shouldn't it?'

I was at a loss as to how to reply to that loaded, leading question so I merely looked at him in nonplussed silence before he reluctantly turned to move away towards the college building. Unfortunately I was forced to watch and listen to Cook's ridiculous posturing and preaching for just a minute or two longer as I got off my bike and slowly pushed it past the heaving throng of Cook acolytes. What a fucking wonderful start to the day, I thought to myself bitterly. What the hell could go wrong next?

Ah yes, of course! As I was pushing my bike slowly round the side of the building, heading for the bike racks, I heard the sound of running footsteps behind me and turned to see Emily trotting to catch up with me. Fucking brilliant, I thought to myself. That was just what I needed right now - another fucking awkward conversation about last night and this morning, though not necessarily in that order.

'Hi,' said Emily and I returned the simple greeting though not with any particular show of enthusiasm.

'You left pretty early,' she said, matter of factly. Oh God! I thought. Are we now going to exchange meaningless statements of the bleeding obvious? How long will I be able to keep that up without flying off the handle? _Please_ don't make me lose my temper and say something I'll regret later and that will upset you!'

'Yeah, well, I…..um…had things to do, you know,' was the best excuse I could come up with to explain my rapid and secretive escape from the house…. or more specifically from Emily….. or perhaps more truthfully from _us being_ _in bed together_.

'Well, I met your Mum.' Emily didn't appear to have been disappointed or in any way discouraged from continuing the conversation by this pretty feeble and unconvincing reason I had given her for my departure.

'Did you?' I asked with a heavy heart, as I closed my eyes in horror at the embarrassing image of Emily coming face to face with my weirdo of a mother.

'She's nice,' Emily said, to which I responded sharply and somewhat unfairly, I admit, with 'She's a cliché.'

'She's a nice cliché,' Emily replied, defending my Mum simply yet staunchly as only Emily would know how to, it seemed to me.

'Is she?' I almost muttered the words to myself rather than for Emily's benefit. I paused for a second or two, debating in my mind whether or not to say what I was going to say before deciding to go ahead with it. It needed to be said, I thought, and now was as good a time as any.

'Emily, look,' I started, as I stopped walking and turned round to face her full on for the first time during our conversation.

'I forgot to tell you, 'Emily interrupted, seemingly not hearing me as she reached inside her trademark yellow bag and fished out some pieces of paper. 'I made these in anticipation. Cool, huh?'

I looked without much interest initially at the small, square-shaped piece of paper she was holding out for me to see. But then I saw that it was a full colour promotional leaflet, with a picture of me on it, the heading 'Naomi For President' above the picture and a slogan alongside it which said 'get it done right.' I was taken aback to put it mildly, stunned you might even say by the sight of this leaflet.

She had clearly put in a lot of effort to produce the leaflet. Ok, I'm not saying it was an award winner or anything like that, but she had obviously devoted a bit of thought to what should go on it and then even more time on the computer to actually produce it. That was evidence of real dedication and support for me, as if I needed any convincing that she was well and truly on my side in this election. I wondered where the hell she had got the picture of me from. She must have taken a photo of me at some point but I couldn't remember when exactly. That was a little bit creepy and unnerving, I couldn't help thinking. Had she been using a long distance lens to take the snap from a long way away, like a fucking paparazzi photographer? Jesus Christ!

I don't know if it was my somewhat stunned silence that prompted her to say what she said next but whatever it was I was mightily relieved by her next words. They spared me the awkwardness and embarrassment of finishing what I had started to say before her interruption.

'I got the message, Naomi. I'll manage.' Those two simple sentences, delivered in a very flat, resigned tone of voice, were like music to my ears. I couldn't stop myself from smiling sheepishly at her, not exactly a huge, warm smile like you'd give one of your best friends but a smile nonetheless, even of it was one of relief more than anything else, perhaps.

'There is one thing, though,' Emily added and I panicked momentarily. Shit! Now what? Don't tell me there's a 'but' to the backing off that she'd just implied she was going to do.

'Well, you can't let him win now, can you?' she said, as she folded her arms and stood there blinking at me as the autumn sun shone down strongly on our faces.

As she put that proposition to me, a clear invitation to me not to change my mind about standing for president and an equally clear indication that I would continue to enjoy her wholehearted support, the sounds of the crowd inanely chanting Cook's name rose up again and reverberated in my head.

'Vote for Cook! Cook before Education! Sex before Exams!'

If ever I needed one final reason why I shouldn't change my mind about running for president and dealing with whatever might happen with Emily (when or if it happened), I got it that morning with Cook's laughable and irresponsible rooftop campaign publicity stunt. Someone had to run against him who would take the whole thing seriously and give the students a proper choice to make – a clown and a show-off or a serious, politically motivated campaigner. Roll your sleeves up, girl, I said to myself. The gloves are well and truly off now. It's time to get down and dirty!


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

**This chapter is the first of two covering more or less the same scenes but told first from Emily's and then from Naomi's POV. As usual I'd love to hear your comments, particularly on whether you thought this 'duplicated portrayal' of the same events worked or not.**

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When I got home I went straight upstairs to my bedroom, chucked my bag on the floor and threw myself on the bed in anger, frustration and complete despair. I knew I'd really fucked up big time with Naomi and in the mood I was in I couldn't see how I was going to be able to put things right. It was all my own fault, I knew that better than anyone but having no-one else to blame only made me feel worse. There's nothing quite like self-inflicted pain to make you feel utterly dejected, alone and, above all, sorry for yourself.

The day at college had started so well, ironically: Naomi and I had spent an hour or so putting up the campaign leaflets I had produced all over the college, sticking them on lockers, walls, notice boards – in fact just about every conceivable bit of bare space we could find! Then there were the official campaign hustings when each candidate was given an opportunity to address the whole school, in whatever way they saw fit, and explain what their policies and goals were and how they intended to achieve them.

Naomi was totally in her element there. She just stood up in front of everyone and spoke for what seemed like ages, though it was probably no more than five minutes, about all the great plans and ideas she had for improving the lives of all the students at the college. She seemed to show no sign of nerves at all, she spoke really confidently and everything she said made perfect sense to me. I was full of admiration for her and what she was doing. I knew** I** wouldn't have been able to do it – I was far too shy and had always hated standing up and speaking in front of a whole group of people who were all looking at me while I was talking. But she pulled it off brilliantly and I was so proud of her that my chest nearly burst.

Not that she had a lot to beat, it has to be said! That stuck-up posh boy Crispin sung some pathetic rap about voting for him to get rid of all the chavs but he was so awful that the song was virtually drowned out by the jeers and he was pelted with paper and all kinds of stuff before he had even finished. He's got absolutely no chance of winning, everyone can see that. In fact I'll be surprised if anyone votes for him at all.

As for Cook, well he was his usual arrogant, boorish, show-off self: unashamedly lighting up a cigarette, totally against college rules of course and right in front of the college director, presumably in some show of ultimate defiance and bravado which of course all his supporters loved. That spineless, brainless mixture of tossers and losers cheered him to the rafters, naturally, even when the college director marched over and grabbed the cigarette out of his mouth and glared at him furiously. I don't think _she_ wants Cook to win but unfortunately she doesn't have a say in it. It's down to all of us to choose who our glorious leader should be. And after what I did later on I'm afraid I might have completely screwed up Naomi's chances of winning, however small they might have been before.

My moment of shame came when Naomi stood up on one of the tables in the student common room to say a few words to all the students who were gathered in there. She had hardly started speaking when Cook came in and started to disrupt her speech, playing the fool as usual and generally being a right wanker. Understandably Naomi told him he was a fucking joke and pointed out to everyone that they had a clear choice to make. They could vote for a comedy president like Cook or someone who took the role seriously like her. But he just carried on mocking her and making fun of her efforts to be serious, calling her interest in raising issues boring. In his mind the only thing everyone wanted to do was party and that's what he was there to provide.

As I lay on my bed much later, reliving the events of that day in my head time and time again, I could see clearly that I shouldn't have said anything. I should have kept my mouth shut and just stood there loyally by her side, holding her bag and letting her deal with him however she thought best. But I couldn't hold myself back, could I? Oh no, I just had to leap to her defence, I couldn't bear to see the stupid arsehole take the piss out of her the way he was. It was more than I could stand. I felt that if I said or did nothing, then I wasn't being a true friend to her which I was desperate to prove I was.

The words came out before I could stop them, long before I had time to consider them carefully. They were honest, they were certainly heartfelt and they were justified in the overall sentiment that they expressed. But with the benefit of hindsight they were ill-judged and unnecessary and above all they did Naomi absolutely no favours whatsoever.

'Cook., any chance you could be a c**t over there, d'you think?'

The room immediately fell to a hush after I said those words, and I could hear sharp intakes of breath and a few soft whistles and 'oohs' from students obviously shocked at what I'd said. I very rarely used the 'c' word – I have to be really wound up and upset to do that – but Cook had pushed me well over the limit that day. Nevertheless I'm not proud of what I said and if I could take it back now then I would gladly do so. But it wasn't the reaction of all the other students that made me feel so ashamed, it was Naomi's. She looked so embarrassed by what I'd said and her face dropped visibly. She looked at me with such sad eyes as she said 'Emily' in such a tone of disappointment that it was almost as if she was apologising to everyone on my behalf. I could only look down at the floor in dismal silence and shame.

Of course the crowning glory of my ill-considered remark was that it came as manna from heaven to Cook. Far from being upset or offended by my attempt to shut him up and shoot him down in flames, he gratefully seized on it to take the piss out of Naomi ( and me as well I suppose, though I hardly noticed that) even more cruelly and mercilessly, the fucking bastard.

'Ah, that's nice. Getting your girlfriend to hold your hand. Bit of moral support, yeah? Sweet, innit?'

Naomi protested immediately against Cook's deliberately mischievous suggestion that I was her girlfriend. But his implication about the nature of our 'friendship' was crystal clear to everyone, as the subsequent prolonged laughter and jeers of all the students proved. He had embarrassed her and shown her up in front of everyone and I'll never forgive him for that. He carried on with his ridiculous argument about not giving a fuck about the election really and just wanting to have fun and give everyone the party campaign they wanted but I'm not sure Naomi was listening any more. The reaction of all the other students to Cook's little piss-take about the two of us had knocked her for six, I could tell.

In the end she gave up trying to argue with him, got down from the table and almost ran out of the room in embarrassment. I tried to apologise to her and attempted to go with her but she just turned round and shouted at me, 'look, just leave me alone, will you?' and ran off, God knows where, leaving me feeling incredibly ashamed, hurt and very, very small indeed.

Now I couldn't get the thought out of my head that Naomi wouldn't want anything more to do with me. I'd embarrassed her in front of the whole school and encouraged Cook to make fun of her and our newly acquired friendship which was in all likelihood dead in the water no sooner had it really started to take off. She'll no doubt revert to avoiding me like I felt she was doing before and there'll be no more days round her house, hanging around together, having a laugh and just enjoying being in each other's company.

I reached out for my phone and brought up the list of contacts, scrolling down to the name of Naomi and my fingers hovered over it for a good while as I pondered furiously whether I should phone her or not. I desperately wanted to speak to her, to say sorry yet again for my stupidity and thoughtlessness. More than anything, though, I longed to hear the sound of her voice, wanted confirmation that she was still talking to me and hadn't turned her back on me for good. But I was afraid that she wouldn't take my call and if that happened then I would know for sure that she didn't want to talk to me, not just now but maybe never again. I couldn't bear the thought of that so naturally I decided not to phone. I would prefer to keep hoping that she still liked me rather than have it confirmed for definite that she didn't.

I got through the rest of the day somehow but without much enthusiasm for anything. Dinner with the rest of the family was a quiet affair during which I hardly said two words. Katie obviously witnessed the debacle with Cook and Naomi and wanted to say something but I made it clear that this subject was right off the agenda. I knew she was going to vote for Cook anyway so there was no chance of getting any crumbs of comfort from her with regard to Naomi. They hadn't liked each other from the start so Katie had no inclination to cheer me up by saying something nice and positive about her.

I tried to do some studying after dinner but found my mind wandering constantly back to Naomi and her last words to me. I must have read the same page a dozen times before finally giving up on the book and throwing it down on the floor in anger and frustration. There was no point trying to work when my heart and soul clearly weren't in it. I kept looking ay my phone, willing it to ring but it remained defiantly silent, mocking me for my ridiculous hopes and prayers that Naomi would call to forgive me and ask to meet up with me. Who was I trying to kid? That was never going to happen in a million years. In the end I couldn't stand lying around waiting for something to happen that I knew never would so I got undressed and climbed in to bed, feeling more miserable and depressed than I'd felt in a very long time. Fuck you, Cook!!

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I had a strange feeling when I woke up in the morning that today would be a very significant day and how right I was! After having cleared the air, sort of, with Emily and agreed just to be friends, no more, I went into the presidential hustings with renewed confidence and energy, ready to take on Cook and Crispin with all I had at my disposal.

After watching Crispin's opening gambit, with his laughable attempt at street-cred by singing a campaign rap about ' a vote for me is a vote to get rid of chavs', I was feeling even more optimistic about my chances. That's one down, I thought, just one to go! He hasn't got a hope in hell and all the students seemed to concur with my opinion, judging by the reception he got when he'd finished his piece. You might as well withdraw now, Crispin. It's a straight contest between me and Cook for student control of this dump of a college.

I was up next and I talked for several minutes about all the ideas and plans I had for making the role of Student President a really important one within the college. I focused primarily on how I would seek to improve the conditions inside the school, working closely with the teaching staff on a continual basis to help provide the kind of educational support and facilities that we all desperately needed if we were to make anything of ourselves after these two years.

Admittedly my speech was short on jokes and light-hearted relief but I wanted to show everyone that I took the position of Student President seriously and that I was a genuine alternative to the clowning, frivolous, irresponsible approach that Cook had already demonstrated was to be his trademark. If they wanted to vote in a complete wanker like Cook, then so be it. But at least nobody would be able to turn round after the event and say that there was no realistic alternative to Cook or that they didn't really know what I stood for. I had laid myself bare before them all and I was ready and willing to accept their judgement. Let the best man, or rather woman, win!

Everything was going swimmingly so far. Cook had blotted his copy book by lighting up a cigarette when it was his turn to speak, which unsurprisingly got the college director's goat. Although it got a huge round of applause and wild cheering from his brain-dead followers, his actions can't have endeared him to the teaching staff. I had realistic grounds for thinking that some of them might be on my side and could even try to influence some of the students, in a subtle way of course, to vote for me.

Emily and I spent ages putting up her campaign leaflets all over the college and I was feeling really good about things until it all went tits up later in the day.

I had climbed up on to one of the tables and had started speaking to everyone in a sort of impromptu campaign speech, expanding on what I had said earlier on, when Cook decided he just _had_ to disrupt my speech by acting the fool and showing off in front of everyone. Jesus! He just can't stand it when anyone else is getting attention instead of him! I'm convinced that's why he did it. Basically he's just an insecure, immature tosspot who tries to mask his crippling insecurities by deliberately seeking attention all the time. If he can make everyone love him superficially then he doesn't have to worry about how little he actually has to offer anyone in terms of a friendship or a proper relationship

Now although he was winding me up with his pathetic comments and antics, leading me to tell him he was a fucking joke in front of all the assembled students, which I suspect several people agreed with, I was just about dealing with him okay. All I needed to do, I thought, was to let him finish his small-minded, self-centred performance, and then carry on regardless with what I was saying. Until Emily decided to stick her oar in, that is. .

'Cook., any chance you could be a c**t over there, d'you think?'

I was flabbergasted when she came out with that. I'd never heard her use that word before and I was stunned into momentary silence along with the entire audience who I could hear gasping in shock. I freely admit I can swear like a trooper when I feel like it, and I frequently do, but I've never liked the 'c' word and it sounded horribly harsh coming out of Emily's lips, especially as she is normally so softly spoken and shy..

I looked down at her with a mixture of embarrassment, disappointment and surprise and said simply 'Emily.' I suppose I intended it to be both a reproach and a plea not to say anything more, not to make things even worse, but the damage had already been done.

I knew she meant well: she said what she said with the best of intentions. She was trying to stick up for me and defend me, she wanted to show her loyalty and unflinching support for me. No-one else was rushing to help me, not even Katie or Effy or Panda who I could see were all sitting together and enjoying the spectacle. I just wish Emily had done it differently, that's all.

Of course, far from embarrassing Cook into silence, it had the complete opposite effect. It encouraged him to take the piss even more, egged on by the laughter and chanting of his followers, except now he could bring Emily into the conversation with devastating consequences. He went full steam ahead with hurtful little digs about getting my 'girlfriend' to hold my hand (I immediately became horribly conscious of how ridiculous it looked, her standing by my side holding my bag for me), giving me moral support and how 'sweet' we both looked together. I could feel my cheeks burning bright red with embarrassment as I looked on helplessly, unable to stop the flow of Cook's tirade against me.

In the end I couldn't take it any more. I knew I should have held my ground, stood up for myself and given back as good as I was getting. But I was too ashamed at what Cook had implied about me and Emily in front of everyone. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole right there and then. I could think of nothing else to do except run away from his insinuations, escape the mocking taunts and laughter of the other students and to be alone with my shame and embarrassment.

I got down from the table, virtually snatched my bag from Emily and started to walk out of the room, head down, eyes firmly fixed on the ground. Emily tried to apologise but I was in no mood to listen to her. Right at that moment I started blaming her for the way I was feeling and I turned on her instinctively. 'Just leave me alone, will you?' I shouted at her and I pretended not to see the hurt etched all over her face at the sound of those words. I ran out into the corridor, not knowing where I was going.

I made for the sanctuary of the nearest empty room but it wasn't until I was inside that I realised that Kieran was sitting at the teacher's desk doing some marking.. At least I had run into the one true friend I thought I still had in college, even if he was my teacher. He looked up at me and I couldn't help bursting into tears as I went over to him for sympathy and support. He must have understood or guessed what had happened because he quietly got up, came round the desk and let me cry on his shoulder. I told him how much I hated Cook and how I felt like such a dick and I could sense he knew exactly where I was coming from.

'What's a bit of public humiliation?' he said kindly.' I'm a teacher, I'm used to it.

'Yeah. People fuck you up every day.' I said, acknowledging the sad truth of his comforting statement.

He nodded, smiled and continued. 'Every day. And do you know what? After a while you get to kind of like it.'

We both laughed and I forced a weak smile at him as I continued to sniffle and wipe my eyes. He looked at me closely, leaned into me a fraction and brushed the hair back ever so gently and precisely away from my face where it had fallen down whilst I had been crying. I smiled tearfully up at him as if to thank him for being so nice. 'There' he said, looking deep into my eyes. 'You look so much prettier when you smile.'

'I don't get it,' I said, shaking my head slowly. 'Why are you so nice when all other men are such wankers?' My question was posed in such innocence that I might even have been asking it of myself. Looking back now I can't help wondering whether what happened next would have happened anyway regardless of whether I'd asked that question of him. I guess I'll never know but I certainly wasn't expecting him to give me the answer he did. He leaned forward a bit more and pressed his lips up against mine and started to kiss me.

I was so staggered by what he was doing that for a second or two I just froze. As he continued to kiss me full on the lips I pulled away in horror and let out a cry of disbelief and revulsion.

'Ohh! But you're …..You're old enough to be my Dad!' That was the crucial point I was trying to make. He was really lovely but he was my teacher, for fuck's sake, and even if he wasn't, he was way too old for me, anyway! How could he have thought otherwise?

'Fuck! You……Fuck. I thought you liked me!' Still in a state of shock, I couldn't understand why he had done such a thing when I thought we were friends – as much as teacher and student could reasonably be.

'I do. And I do.' Kieran was looking a bit panicky now as he must have realised what an error of judgement he had just made.

'What did you just do?!' I said in an accusing tone, still in shock at the whole thing.

'But you wanted me to kiss you!' was Kieran's explanation, though hardly made with any great conviction, I felt.

'But I just………I wanted to trust you,' I said and the tears came flooding out again as my day of misery deepened and plumbed depths I didn't think were possible to reach. The two people who I had thought were my only friends had now _both_ let me down spectacularly and left me feeling all alone in the world once more. I bent down to pick up my bag, turned my back on Kieran and for the second time in a few minutes almost ran out of a room in huge embarrassment, leaving an equally shattered and confused politics teacher behind me.

I fled home as quickly as I could and went straight up to my room, not stopping to say hello to Mum or anyone. I locked the bedroom door behind me as I wanted to be on my own to give full rein to my misery and despair. I must have cried my eyes out for hours, or so it seemed, sitting on my bed, running through in my mind the events of this extraordinary day. How can a day which started with such hope and optimism have ended up at such a low point? I couldn't remember a day when I had cried so much – certainly not for years and years, definitely not since my Dad left Mum and me.

As I absent-mindedly fiddled with the blanket for something to occupy my hands, I came across a small yellow bit of paper and when I looked at it I was able to read the message that had obviously been left for me. It said 'Emily slept here' and a little arrow had been added alongside to indicate whereabouts she had slept.

'FUCK OFF!!' I said as I threw the note onto the floor in a fit of rage. Yet another fucking reminder of someone who had badly let me down! Is there anyone in my life who hasn't? Is that why I always seem to be on my own, without any real friends? Because there isn't a soul out there who I can trust not to fuck me up and make me unhappy and miserable? Is this how it's going to be for ever? Condemned to a solitary existence where the only person I can truly trust and rely on is myself?

I didn't move from my bed all evening as I didn't want to see anybody. I wasn't hungry and, well, I had a bottle of the hard stuff somewhere in the room if I got thirsty at any point. Gradually my violent sobbing began to subside as I regained control of my feelings and told myself I needed to calm down. I'd managed to get this far in life without any real friends to call my own, so why should it make any difference if I still haven't got any today?

But I did want to have friends – very much indeed. It was just really hard to find any worthy of my friendship and trust.

Later on in the evening I picked up Emily's note that I had screwed up and thrown on the floor. I don't know what prompted me but I opened it up, flattened it out and started to read the message to myself again, several times in fact. As I did I couldn't stop myself from smiling at the cheek of the little minx, leaving a note like that in my bed! What if my Mum had found it? What the hell would she have made of that? Jesus, that girl's got a nerve, I thought.

But the more I thought about it, and her, the more I felt how incredibly sweet and cute it was of her to leave me a message like that. It obviously meant the world to her to have spent the night in bed next to me and it's been a long time since anyone felt like that about me! I smiled as the distant memory of waking up alongside her that morning popped up in my mind again. I remembered how utterly peaceful and contented she seemed to look, quietly dozing on the other side of the bed and how beautiful her red hair looked in the early morning light as the sun played pretty patterns with it through the curtains. I continued to conjure up and linger longingly over these beautiful images of Emily in my head until I must have fallen fast asleep, strangely happy but utterly exhausted after such an eventful day.


	6. Chapter 6

**AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

**This chapter is the first of a 'two-parter' focusing on Emily and Naomi's bike ride day out at the lake and it tells the story of the first half of the day as seen through Emily's eyes. The next chapter will conclude the story of their momentous day together from Naomi's POV. I hope you like it and I shall, as always, be very grateful for any reviews that you may want to give on it. **

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**EMILY'S STORY**

I really didn't know what to think any more about me and Naomi. It seemed like only five minutes ago that she was yelling at me to just leave her alone and yet there she was, less than twenty four hours later, ringing me up in the middle of the morning and asking me to go out somewhere for the day with her.

To say I was confused and perplexed is the understatement of the century. Maybe I just don't understand women!! Not that I was unhappy about the invitation, far from it. I was jumping for joy when she asked me though I did try to play it cool and keep the mounting excitement out of my voice but I'm not sure if it was an unqualified success. How do you sound laid back and chilled out when inside you are so unbelievably happy and thrilled? Suggestions on a postcard please to Emily Fitch, Bristol, UK!!

When I asked her where she wanted to go she simply replied 'Anywhere.' She basically left it up to me to decide and so I suggested we should go for a bike ride out into the country to one of my favourite spots in the whole world. It's a beautiful, idyllic, secluded setting by a lake surrounded by a dense wood. It's situated about ten miles outside of town and I estimated we could be there in just over an hour, give or take.

I used to go there with the rest of the family for picnics when I was younger but I haven't been there for quite a while and I thought it would be the perfect place for us to chill out together. We would be far away from any prying eyes, not that I had any specific plans in mind at that point. I just wanted somewhere quiet and peaceful where we could be alone and sort out whatever problems, real or imaginary, there were between us without anybody else butting in or disturbing us. She said that sounded great and we agreed we would both bring some food and drink with us so we could have a picnic meal later on in the day

My heart was beating fast and racing like the clappers with excitement when she rang off and I then proceeded to rush around the house like a mad woman for the next hour or so getting ready. I showered, got dressed, after spending what seemed like an age trying to decide what to wear but was probably all of five minutes, and went downstairs to have a lightning quick breakfast. Furthermore all of this had to be done virtually on tiptoe as I didn't want to wake up Katie or my Mum and face any awkward questions about where I was going and who with. Dad had long since left for the gym so at least I didn't have to worry about him poking his nose in where it wasn't wanted.

I opened up the fridge and had a good nose around the contents of it, selecting various things which I thought would make up a good picnic meal – ham, tomatoes, cheese, some left over tuna from last night, pickled onions, and some orange juice. I got hold of some bread and some fruit from the kitchen, wrapped the whole lot up in foil and packed them carefully in to my rucksack. Fortunately I remembered almost at the last minute to grab hold of the best part of a bottle of vodka and stuffed that in alongside all the food – although I felt certain that Naomi would come up trumps in the booze department. It was hilarious how that girl always seemed to have a bottle of the hard stuff lying around in her bedroom somewhere when it was called for – you'd think sometimes it could have doubled up as an off-licence!

Satisfied that I had all the necessary provisions for a full day's excursion out in the country, including some weed for the obligatory 'smoke afterwards' – after eating, that is, not after you know what! - I went to get my bike out which hadn't seen the cold light of day for quite some time. It had always been a bit big for me, I felt, and this morning after climbing on to it, the bike seemed absolutely huge and my little legs didn't even reach the ground. Unless I've shrunk in the last year or two, of course!

I could just about manage to ride on it without falling off and so off I pedalled away from my house, heading for Naomi's where I had agreed to meet her at twelve o'clock. I had no idea what the day would have in store for me but I was sure it would be memorable, one way or another. There didn't seem any point thinking about how I was going to play it today. Naomi's moods were so unpredictable that trying to second guess them and work out how I was going to be with her seemed a complete waste of time. Far better, I thought, just to play it by ear, be as natural and spontaneous as possible, feeding off whatever vibe she gave off at any given time.

_Just relax and enjoy the day, Em_, I told myself. _Don't get your hopes up about anything, just take it easy and go with the flow! You weren't expecting to hear from her again after yesterday's disaster so just be grateful for today and have fun with her_.

These were the attempted words of wisdom I said to myself as I cycled the route over to Naomi's house. When I got there fifteen minutes later Naomi was already waiting for me outside in the front garden.

'What took you so long?' she said with a big smile and my heart was immediately lifted to stratospheric heights of joy when I saw she was in a really good mood.

'Come on, then,' I replied, returning her smile with an even wider one of my own. 'Last one there has to buy the first round!'

I shot off down the road on my bike, pedalling furiously for all I was worth and leaving her totally surprised and caught on her heels. She let out a cry of anguish and set off in hot pursuit of me, ringing her bell manically to warn me that she was hard on my tail. It didn't take her long to catch me up as she was an expert cyclist and I was very much a novice compared to her. Besides, her long legs gave her an unfair advantage, as I told her when she caught up with me, an argument she dismissed with a light-hearted joke about my considerably smaller frame.

After about fifteen minutes we had more or less put the outskirts of the city behind us and had started to move out into the Bristol countryside as the suburban roads and streets were gradually replaced by country lanes, bordered by hedges, lush green fields and vast stretches of woods and forests. The absence of any traffic enabled us to cycle side by side down the middle of the twisting, winding country lanes. We were therefore afforded the luxury of being able to chat to each other as we rode, both of us revelling in the fresh air of the countryside and the gentle breeze at our backs which carried us along at some speed towards our destination.

I was finding my bike increasingly tricky to control and almost fell off on a couple of occasions which naturally Naomi thought was hilarious. In fact she nearly came off her own bike once, so much was she laughing at my desperate efforts to keep control of my balance, not to mention my dignity. Eventually after a good hour's action-packed, laughter-filled, madcap cycling we reached our intended target in one piece, although possibly more by luck than judgement in my case.

We got off our bikes, laid them down carefully by the side of the path and walked over to the banks of the lake to take in the magnificent view which stretched out before us. There wasn't a soul about and the only sounds we could hear were those of the birds chirping away merrily in the trees and the water gently lapping against the sides of the lake. It was unimaginably peaceful and picturesque and I think Naomi was quite blown away by the scene as we just stood there, side by side, silently taking it all in

'Wow!' she whispered, after what seemed like an interminable period of silence between us. 'It's lovely. It's a lovely place.' She looked straight into my eyes as she said that and smiled, almost shyly for her, and I could feel my heart instantly melting on the spot.

I was so happy that she liked the place I'd chosen to spend the day but I contented myself with merely saying 'It's one of my favourites.' Of course what I didn't go on to say was that today it had become my absolute favourite spot in the whole world now that she was here with me. I had told myself earlier in the day that I shouldn't plan anything but I should just go with the flow and do whatever seemed right at the time. This was such a moment to be spontaneous, to do something just because it felt right and not because it seemed like a good idea or the smart thing to do.

I looked at her with a half smile on my face and, I suppose, possibly the trace of a cheeky twinkle in my eye as an idea suddenly came into my head. I moved back across to where we'd put down our bikes and started to take off my top, followed by my skirt. It must have been obvious what I had in mind for after watching me in silence for a few seconds Naomi said, with a note of hesitancy and uncertainty in her voice 'I didn't bring a…. swimming costume.'

'Neither did I' I replied and continued undressing, whilst still maintaining eye contact with the tall blonde as she stood watching me, seemingly confused and undecided as to what to make of my actions.

'The sun won't shine for ever!' I added insistently, hoping that this bald statement of fact might persuade her to be bold and follow my example.

'Someone might be looking!' she protested with what I detected was a definite note of coyness on her part which surprised me as I wouldn't have had her down as the shy, reserved type when it came to stripping off. That was much more my hang-up although I felt an unusual surge of confidence and bravado about stripping down to my bra and knickers beside her that I would not have imagined possible in me before today. Fired by my own bravery and knowing that she would need a bit of a push to get going, I decided that a mild psychological put down might be the only way to fire her up and sting her into joining me in a swim.

'Honey, your body ain't that special!' I said solemnly, casting several long looks up and down at her as I stood there, hopping from one foot to the other as I slipped off my shoes. Of course what I longed to tell her, what I really felt deep down inside of me, but was too terrified to say for fear of her freaking out and running out on me, was that I thought her body was a bit special, not to say absolutely fucking drop dead gorgeous. But for now those thoughts just had to stay in the vault, well and truly under lock and key, until I judged the time was right to bring them out into the harsh, unforgiving light of day.

Then to my silent, very much confined joy she dropped her bag onto the ground and said in a tone which was clearly intended to brook no argument, 'Don't look, okay?' before she turned her back on me and started to take off her clothes.

'Fine,' I said and likewise turned my back on her, with reluctance admittedly but with the aim of encouraging her to carry on undressing. However my curiosity got the better of me after only a few seconds and I couldn't resist turning half round to watch her as she removed her shoes, then moved on to unzip her skirt and finally take off her T-shirt. My eyes were drawn like magnets to her beautifully proportioned, magnificently toned and, all in all, utterly stunning body and I couldn't stop myself looking her up and down like I was judging her for marks out of ten in some beauty parade. Well, she got eleven out of ten from me!

As she turned round and stood there just a few paces away from me, her arms folded across her chest, she looked at me awkwardly to begin with and then burst into a fit of giggles which inevitably set me off on one too. She came over to me and started pushing me playfully and ticking me off for looking at her when she'd told me not to and accusing me – in a totally joking manner, of course – of perving over her. Naturally I protested as best I could, which was a bit rich, I suppose since I most certainly was looking at her and in the way she described as well, I guess, and the two of us had this brief girlie pretend shoving match which ended with her accidentally pushing me right into the lake.

As I hit the water I almost gasped for breath, so winded and dazed was I by the initial impact of hitting the unexpectedly freezing cold water. As I floundered helplessly around in the lake, screaming at the top of my voice with the shock and yelling at Naomi to come in and join me, the tall blonde just stood at the side of the lake laughing her head at me. Then finally, with my last insistent cry to her to come in still echoing loudly all around, she pinched her nose with two fingers of her right hand, took a small run up and launched herself into the middle of the lake, just as I was making for the safety of the bank where I tried to get my breath back from the icy chill that had enveloped every pore of my body.

After a while we both got used to the temperature of the water and it became less of an ordeal to stay in it for any length of time. We swam around for a while, playing silly water games with each other, like trying to pull each other down under the surface and flicking water into each other's faces and chasing after one another for revenge.

Eventually we decided we had had enough of this brave but ultimately faintly ludicrous attempt at out of season bathing. We eagerly clambered out of the lake and ran to cover ourselves up with towels and dry ourselves off with considerable relief, both agreeing that this was the perfect time to sit down and have our picnic.


	7. Chapter 7

**AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

**This chapter is the second of a 'two-parter' focusing on Emily and Naomi's bike ride day out. It continues the story from when they come out of the lake and is told as seen through Naomi's eyes. I hope you like it and I shall, as always, be very grateful for any reviews.**

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**NAOMI'S STORY**

We were both absolutely freezing after our ill-advised dip in the lake and it took us quite some time to dry off properly. After we had put some clothes back on we felt much better though and at Emily's suggestion we plunged deep into the adjacent forest to seek out somewhere to have our picnic. We wanted to find a spot that was well sheltered by the huge canopy of trees in case the weather turned nasty later on and started raining and eventually we came across the perfect place.

It wasn't too far in from the lake but the ground was pretty flat and soft so we were able to lay out a rug and sit on it in relative comfort. The vast collection of trees rising high above us afforded us the ideal blanket cover from the elements and once we had agreed that here would be perfect we immediately set about making a small fire from the multitude of branches and twigs that were lying loose all around. Within five minutes we had a fabulous fire blazing away and we huddled around it for a while to begin with so it could dispel the remains of the freezing cold chill of the icy lake which we could still feel in our bones.

Emily began unloading her rucksack and putting the contents one by one on the rug. She seemed to have brought so much more food with her compared to me that I wondered briefly if she had left anything for the rest of her family to eat. Had she raided the entire contents of the kitchen, perhaps? I had just grabbed a few bits and pieces that I could find lying around but Emily seemed to have brought enough rations for a small army regiment to live on quite comfortably for at least a week.

I teased her about it and she turned red with embarrassment which I found really cute. It seemed to be all too easy to make her blush. I had noticed this the more time I had spent with her and I have to admit I rarely passed up an opportunity to make her turn red because I found her natural shyness and modesty so sweet and endearing. She was so different to me in that respect- I hardly ever felt embarrassed and on the few occasions when I was I usually succeeded in hiding it by getting angry and shouting or swearing at people instead.

All that exercise cycling out here and swimming in the lake must have helped us work up quite an appetite as we tucked in to the food and drink with relish. You'd think we hadn't eaten for a week! As we stretched out decadently on the rug, stuffing our faces with the variety of goodies on offer and washing them down with some refreshing juice and fizzy drinks we chatted away like there was no tomorrow – in fact like we hadn't even had words the last day we had been together.

That horrendous hustings day at college seemed light years away now as we managed to deal with that particular incident and get it out of the way very quickly.

'I'm really sorry I shouted at you and told you to leave me alone, Emily,' I said, rather nervously, as I didn't know how she would react to me bringing up the subject of our altercation once again. 'I didn't mean to upset you but I know I must have done.'

'It's okay,' said Emily with a shy smile which instantly made me feel a hundred times better. 'Forget it. I have already,' but I wasn't sure I entirely believed her. After all I _had_ been horrible to her and she had only been trying to defend me.

'It was Cook I was really pissed off with but I ended up taking it out on you which wasn't fair. You were just trying to help me, I know.' I felt so much better about myself now that I had apologised for what I'd said and done. I wished I had called her yesterday to say all this but I suppose I needed the time alone to recognise my mistake.

'He's an arsehole. If there's any justice in the world you'll thrash him in this election. I mean, what sort of fucking President would he make, for Christ's sake? I can't believe anyone in their right mind would vote for him ahead of you.' Emily was munching away on an apple as she said all this and was looking down at the ground rather than directly at me. Her voice had gone very soft and quiet as if she was still slightly nervous about saying anything complimentary about me.

'Thanks,' I said, genuinely touched by her unwavering and unconditional show of support. 'I guess there's one vote I can count on getting, then, at least.' I gave her a big smile and she grinned back, nodding her head in agreement. We fell silent for a few moments, as we both lay back listening to the sounds of the birds in the trees and the water lapping against the banks of the lake. As my mind went back to that incident with Cook I couldn't help bursting out laughing and Emily looked at me curiously, raising her eyebrows in bemusement.

'What?' she asked, smiling at me as I rolled around in fits of hysterics.

'Any chance of you…… being a c**t ……over there do you think?' I struggled to get the words out and they sort of came in fits and starts, so much was I doubled up in laughter. 'That was classic!' Hindsight is, as we all know, a wonderful thing and at the time Emily said those words I remember feeling shocked and disappointed at what she'd said. But that was then and this was now. Twenty-four hours later, however, and those words seemed to me entirely appropriate, justified and perfectly well-chosen for the situation.

Emily looked into my eyes which were almost in tears with the laughter and started giggling helplessly as well and soon the two of us must have made for a right comical sight, as we fell about laughing and giggling on the rug, at times holding our sides and even holding on to each other for support as we completely lost it for a few minutes. Eventually we managed to calm ourselves down and resumed our normal ladylike poise and self-control. But it was a magical moment of shared hysteria.

'That really shut them all up for a moment or two, didn't it?' I said, thoughtfully. 'I've never heard you use that word before, Em.'

'I don't normally,' the redhead replied, a little apologetically, although she had no need, as far as I was concerned. 'I just lost it, I suppose and it sort of, came out. I felt so embarrassed afterwards, especially as I could see you weren't impressed.'

Emily looked up at me with such sad eyes that I wanted to hug her and tell her it was okay but I didn't. I don't know why exactly. Something was holding me back from showing the affection I was beginning to feel for her. Maybe it was confusion about why my feelings for her seemed to yo-yo from one extreme to another all the time. Perhaps I was feeling unusually self-conscious as we sat so close to each other, half undressed, all alone with not another soul around for miles. No-one could have seen us if we had hugged, embraced or held each other close but nonetheless, for some inexplicable reason, it felt as if the eyes of the whole world were upon me. Everything around us was so incredibly peaceful and still and yet my head was screaming out loud with a whole mass of thoughts, emotions and contradictions that were in danger of leaving me speechless and mentally drained.

Fortunately the conversation moved off the subject of Cook and the student presidency and progressed swiftly and naturally on to all manner of other topics. We must have talked for hours as we completely lost all sense of time and had scarcely noticed how dark it had become and how bright the glow of the fire had turned as it crackled away cheerfully just a few feet in front of us. However Emily's prognosis about the sun not shining forever proved to be accurate as all of a sudden the rain began to fall. Within five or ten minutes it was hammering down, almost deafening us with the intensity of its lashing and forcing us to bring the picnic to an involuntary conclusion.

We took shelter for a while right underneath the trees until the worst of the heavy shower subsided and then returned to our original spot, laying out the rug again and drying our wet hair with a towel. I thought it was time to move on to the harder stuff and so I got out my bottle of vodka and we took it in turns to have a swig. The sharp, powerful liquid created a warm, almost burning sensation at the back of my throat as I gratefully chucked several mouthfuls down my neck.

As I took yet another swig from the bottle Emily carefully and with great precision rolled a joint and lit it. I sat next to her, watching her silently yet intently and with a warm glow of satisfaction coursing through my veins. I felt happier and more relaxed than at any other time that I could remember in recent years. The sheer peacefulness, the idyllic nature of the setting and, okay I admit it, the brilliant company as well made me feel like I didn't have a care in the world. Would I have felt the same if I was with anyone other than Ems? I didn't know for sure but I suspected the answer was- probably not.

'Are you alright, Em?' I asked the redhead as she sat next to me lighting the spliff. She turned and looked at me with a strange expression that I couldn't quite describe and calmly continued to light it without saying a word. Her silence confused me and after giving her a few seconds to change her mind and answer me I tried once again to get her to talk to me.

'Hello! Helloooo! Are you deaf or what?' I waved my hand in her face in an effort to get her attention.

Fortunately that did the trick as she looked directly at me with a half-smile – or at least I think it was a smile – and said, 'You know that's the first time you've asked me something?'

'What, today?' I replied.

'Ever,' she said, impassively, although I saw that she didn't take her eyes off me even once during the time that we spoke.

'Well, answer it then. Are you alright?' I stared into her big brown eyes which I'd never really noticed until that very moment were extraordinarily wide and beautiful and I became aware that I was waiting for her response with a racing heart and a breathless anticipation. I wanted her to say _I'm having a fantastic time and it's all because of you _but I didn't dare believe she would say that. Sure enough, she didn't. I should have known better!

'No! I'm having the worst time of my life. The weather's shit, the company's even worse….'

'Amen,' I said, joining in with the joke – at least I hoped and prayed she was just joking. The tiny little tug at the corners of her mouth when she answered gave me the impression that she didn't mean what she said and that she _was_ enjoying herself – but was she having as much fun as me? I took another swig of vodka and Emily puffed again on her joint and there was silence between us for a few seconds before Emily said

'It's peaceful.' I agreed with her and then we fell silent again, each of us looking right ahead at nothing in particular. Emily reached forward with her left hand and poked the fire a little with a small piece of wood before withdrawing her hand. Only, she didn't take her hand back all the way to where it was before. Instead she lightly placed it on top of my right hand which I had been resting on the rug and she linked her fingers with mine and held my hand so softly, so gently that I had to look down to check that she was still holding it. She was. I smiled to myself but I couldn't bring myself to look at her and I don't think she was looking at me whilst we sat there holding hands for a short while.

Finally Ems broke the ice: she cut through this moment of unbearable tension and uncertainty by asking if I'd ever done blowbacks. I was relieved to have something to talk about which would take my mind off the fact that we'd been holding hands for quite a while, that I hadn't let go of her hand immediately and that it had sent an unexpected shiver of delight and excitement right through my body. I told her that I had never got blowbacks and simply couldn't understand why people didn't just smoke the damn things straight.

Emily tried to persuade me to give it a go, saying it was fun but I insisted that it held no great attraction for me as I was convinced it was shit, even though I'd never tried it. Eventually I gave in though, as much to please her, I knew, than through any sudden change of mind about whether I might enjoy it.

'Come on,' she said, turning round to face me. 'Everything once!'

'Oh, fuck it,' I said with a heavy sigh, though I was hardly annoyed with her – quite the opposite! 'Go ahead and disappoint me!'

I turned round to face her and watched in nervous anticipation as she lit the joint with her lighter, puffed on it a couple of times and then moved closer to me holding the joint in her hand. She then carefully placed the joint between her lips with the lit end in her mouth and pulled me gently towards her. I leaned forward and cupped my hands around her face as she placed her arms around the back of my neck. I puffed on the joint and exhaled as she inhaled the smoke that I blew into her mouth. It must have only lasted a couple of seconds but it felt incredibly sexy and intimate and it sent a shockwave racing through my body which left me almost breathless with excitement. So that was what it was all about then! Okay, so I was completely wrong!

We sat staring and smiling nervously and shyly at each other in stunned silence for a few seconds, neither daring, I think, to say anything or do anything in case it ruined the special moment we had just shared. I looked deep into her eyes and she returned my gaze, still clearly as nervous and uncertain as I was, but nonetheless she didn't once look away from me. Eventually I knew what I had to do. I didn't wait to think it through, to justify it to myself or to consider what the possible consequences of it might be. I just went for it and did it.

I leaned my body forward towards her and brought my face up to hers and kissed her full on the lips. As kisses go it perhaps wasn't on the surface the most passionate, even the sexiest I've ever given anyone. But for me at that precise moment it felt like it was the most thrilling and exciting kiss I'd ever had in my entire life. I think Emily was so surprised at me coming forward like that that she even pulled back a fraction at first and it was all over before she'd had much of a chance to respond in kind at all. So exhilarating did it feel though that I didn't just stop at one. I went back in for another one and a third and a fourth, I think. I lost count how many there were.

She definitely reacted to the second and all the subsequent kisses though. She leaned forward towards me also and returned my kisses with interest and some. Her arms were soon around my neck, gently pulling me towards her even more so that our lips were pressing harder against each other and our heavy breath began to intermingle and merge into one. At first the kisses were short ones on the lips but then Emily started to kiss my neck with much longer but still incredibly soft and gentle kisses that made my heart start thumping like never before and my breathing became heavier and shorter.

I pulled down on her arms a bit as if to make her stop but there was no conviction in the gesture at all – it was perhaps no more than a token effort to satisfy myself that I had done all I could to prevent what was to happen from happening. Whatever strange force had gripped me all of a sudden was bigger and stronger than me and I was powerless to resist.

As she pulled away for a brief second from raining sweet kisses on my neck yet again I smiled at her and said 'Say something.' She looked at me with yet another one of her nervous, shy smiles which screamed gorgeousness and sweetness at me and whispered breathlessly 'I'm all about experiments, me,' before staring right into my eyes again and then leaning forward to pull my jumper over my head, leaving me wearing only a thin T-shirt and my bra and knickers.. I did likewise to her and then, almost as if someone else was there with me pulling my strings, I lunged forward to kiss her more passionately than before. She immediately responded, putting her arms around the back of my neck and pulling me gently down on top of her before rolling me over so that she was now on top of me as I lay on the blanket. Within seconds she had taken my T-shirt off and somehow hers came off as well and now we were both down to our underwear.

What happened after that remains a bit of a blur. All I know is that soon we were completely naked and that I was experiencing feelings the like of which I had never felt before in my whole life. There wasn't a square inch of my quivering, shaking, trembling body that she didn't kiss, lick, stroke and generally bring to the point of total and utter ecstasy. I was breathing and panting so loudly that I was terrified someone must have heard me even from several miles away. I nearly passed out once or twice, I think, and I'm sure I was screaming at one point although maybe that was just my vivid imagination – unless that was Emily, of course.

I don't know how many times we made love to each other but I've never been so exhausted and spent in one evening so it must have been more than three! I would be lying if I said I knew exactly what I was doing all the time. I remember at one point saying to Ems, 'I haven't got a clue what I should be doing,' and I recall her replying with a huge smile and with the softest, sexiest whisper you could ever imagine, 'Just do whatever feels right to you. That's what I did.'

I must have followed her advice okay because she seemed to enjoy my nervous and unconfident fumblings and gropings, judging by the noises she was making. I just did things on the hoof, so to speak, acting on pure instinct and followed what my heart told me to do. I have no idea how long the whole thing lasted, probably several hours. The last thing I do remember clearly of the evening was the two of us falling asleep wrapped up in each other's arms, with the warm glow of the fire, which amazingly was still going strong, merely adding to the intense heat which we had been generating together over the previous few hours.


	8. Chapter 8

**AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

**This chapter picks up the action from the morning after the night before (or maybe we should refer to it as THAT night before). The story is told from both girls' POV. As always, any reviews will be very welcome and gratefully received. **

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**EMILY'S STORY**

It must have been the noise of the bike being slowly pushed along the path that woke me up with a jolt. What else could have possibly succeeded in dragging me out of my heavenly slumber? I was having the dream of my life reliving the events of the previous day and night over and over again as if I was afraid that if I stopped thinking about them, even while asleep, I would wake up to find that they had never actually taken place at all. I wanted to hold on to those precious hours together with Naomi for dear life. I felt an overpowering need to wring every possible drop of pleasure, emotion and desire out of those images and memories which were still so fresh in my mind.

But something must have told me that I needed to wake up right at that moment or else I might regret not doing so for the rest of my life. Call it what you like – female intuition, a sixth sense perhaps or just plain old-fashioned fate. It doesn't really matter. What did matter though was that I woke up with a start, turned over expecting to see Naomi lying next to me still fast asleep and found an empty space instead. An empty space that seemed so big that you could have driven a truck through it. I could still see the indentations that her body had left behind on the blanket from where she had been sleeping. Much of the evidence that we had spent the night together out in the forest still remained – the charred remnants of the fire, the leftovers of the food we had eaten the night before, the bottle of vodka and the butt ends of the spliffs we had shared.

Everything that is except for the most important piece of proof that I hadn't just dreamt the whole thing up, that it wasn't just a grotesque piece of wishful thinking on my part. Naomi wasn't there any more! In a blind panic I sat up and looked around in all directions, frantically searching for her. Surely she can't have left me all alone in bed again and done a runner? It was bad enough when she did it the first time but not a second time, not after last night! I thought it was guys who had sex with you and then left you high and dry the following morning without a word or even a goodbye. Could she really be that cruel and heartless?

I could hear the sounds of a bicycle close by but I couldn't see Naomi. Then all of a sudden I saw her, thirty feet or so above me, pushing her bike along the path that overlooked the little copse where we had spent last night. I got up onto my feet and began calling up to her in a tone which betrayed every fibre of my disappointment and anguish that I had caught her red-handed trying to sneak away from me yet again.

'Twice! You're going to do this to me….. twice!' I was already marching up the slight incline towards her with a determined tread as I felt the anger rise up within me and burn the back of my throat. I could tell she had heard me speak but she showed no signs of stopping or turning round to face me. That didn't deter me though from continuing to harangue her for the cowardly act I had caught her carrying out.

'Naomi! No! You fucking……..stop right now!' As I eventually drew level with her on the path at the top of the incline she stopped dead and said 'What?' in a voice that spoke volumes to me. I looked right into her eyes. Normally Naomi's were the brightest and bluest of eyes that I had ever seen but they now seemed shockingly dull and lifeless and she could scarcely hold my gaze for more than a second without turning away from me and looking down at the ground.

'Don't you dare leave me in your bed again!' I said to her. I wasn't sure whether she would think I was accusing her, pleading with her or even threatening her. All of the above, I guess. Inside I was thinking **'**_**PLEASE don't leave me, please don't walk away from me like this. Not after the most incredible night of my life! Don't do this to me. I couldn't stand it.'**_

But it clearly had no effect on her. All she did was to shake her head slowly, mumble 'I've got to go,' and carry on pushing her bike along the path, presumably heading back to the road and, ultimately, home. She didn't look me in the eyes properly once during this brief exchange.

I started following after her but soon came to a halt and just let my final despairing words trail after her as she walked steadfastly away from me, not once turning round or stopping.

'I know you, Naomi. I know you're lonely. I think you need someone to want you…..Well….. I do want you…. So be brave…. and want me back.'

I don't know how I managed not to burst into floods of tears as I made this last-ditch plea for her not to abandon me so callously. As she refused to turn round and come back to me my heart felt like it was being shattered into thousands of tiny pieces and my voice almost broke down completely. I nearly didn't get all the words out, so overcome was I with misery and the deepest, darkest pit of rejection. It seemed as if that night of passion we shared only a few short hours ago meant nothing to her. How could it if she was so desperate to get away from me once a new day had dawned on us?

I felt emotionally numb as I stood transfixed to the spot, my legs incapable of moving until Naomi had completely disappeared from view. As soon as she had gone, however, the tears started to flow. Soon they were streaming down my face like a tidal wave and I just let myself go completely. I caved in and let my feelings overwhelm me as huge, gasping sobs of misery racked my body, causing me to heave violently and I almost threw up several times. I don't know exactly how long I was in this dreadful state but it felt like an entire lifetime of pain and sorrow had been encapsulated in just this one tiny window of my life.

When I had finally reached the point where I could cry no more, when there were literally no more tears left to shed I returned to our short-lived passion pit, collected up all my things and packed them away in my rucksack. I wheeled my bike to the path just as Naomi had done a short while ago, got on and started pedalling my anything but merry way along the side path which led back towards the main country road.

It was just as well that it was still very early in the morning and that there was hardly any traffic on the roads. I barely took any notice of what was going on around me, so deep in furious thought was I, so oblivious was I to my immediate surroundings. All I could think about as I retraced the route we had both taken so joyfully the day before was: _'Where did I go wrong?'_

My first reaction naturally enough was that it had been all my fault. A lifetime of dominance and suppression by Katie, together with my inherent shyness and lack of self-confidence, had conditioned me into assuming that whenever anything went wrong in my life I must have brought it on myself. So obviously I must have gone too far, too fast with Naomi. She simply wasn't ready for anything physical between us - yet.

But hang on a minute, though, I thought. Surely it was _her_ who had made the first move, not me! Okay, fair enough, it was me who had held hands with her to begin with in front of the fire after our picnic. But it was her who made the first move to kiss me, not the other way round. I remembered that distinctly. In fact I could recall the feeling of utter surprise and unexpected joy I felt when she leaned over to kiss me that first time. It wasn't like I had tried to kiss her and she had resisted only to allow me to persuade her to go through with it. At no stage when we took each other's clothes off did she stop and question whether this was what she really wanted to do.

So it couldn't have been my fault, could it? I reasoned. She may have been hesitant and unsure to begin with but once we had got down to it she had enjoyed every minute of making love just as much as I did. I was sure of that. She couldn't have faked that, I would have known, I would have sensed it if she had been putting on an act. No, her pleasure was definitely genuine, even if it had shocked and surprised her.

So what could explain her reaction this morning? How could I make any conceivable sense of that? The only explanation I could come up with was that she felt ashamed and guilty for having enjoyed it so much. But if that was so, then why even go there in the first place? I hated the idea that I might have caused her to feel ashamed of by having demonstrated how much I cared about her and wanted her physically. The thought that right now she might be hating me for having made her feel guilty for what we'd done filled me with such terror and revulsion that I nearly fell off my bike in a fit of panic.

How I actually got home in one piece I'll never know. I must have been on auto-pilot throughout the whole agonising, miserable journey and didn't quite believe it when I found I was pulling up outside my house. I crept inside and made a beeline for the bathroom which amazingly, for once, was free. I locked myself in and spent some time trying to clean up my face, wiping away the huge smudges of make-up which had formed as a result of my tearful breakdown by the lake.

A quick soak in the bath and a change of clothes made me appear a bit more presentable compared to how I must have looked when I arrived back home. Sadly all that attention to detail on the surface did nothing to repair the damage that had been done to me on the inside. I suspected it would take a lot more than a good scrub and a bit of clever make -up to heal those scars and wounds which ran far deeper - right into the very depths of my soul

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**NAOMI'S STORY**

When I woke up it was already light and I felt cold, despite the fact that I was more or less fully dressed in the clothes I had been wearing the day before. I sat up and looked at Emily sleeping peacefully and noiselessly next to me and I was gripped with a sudden feeling of blind panic. Memories of our night together under the stars came flooding back to me in an instant and instinctively I began asking myself some pretty searching questions.

What the fuck had I done? And perhaps, more to the point, why had I done it? Sadly I hadn't got a clue how to answer them. Not right at that moment, anyway. Maybe I would never be able to explain to myself why I had done what I did but I knew for certain that I had to get away immediately. I had to put some distance between me and Emily, I had to escape from this beautiful yet painful setting and find some personal space to breathe and think - alone. I just couldn't face the inevitably awkward conversation that would ensue, at least on my side, if I stayed until Emily woke up.

The place I was in right now was so far out of my comfort zone that I knew I was bound to say or do the wrong thing. Better to quietly take my leave before I made it worse for myself – and probably Emily, too. She didn't deserve to wake up to a reluctant, terrified, confused lover. Jesus Christ! We've officially become lovers now!

Frightened by that undeniable fact way beyond anything I'd ever known or felt before, I stood up as quietly as possible so as not to wake Emily and picked up the few items of clothing that I had flung on to the ground the night before. I slipped on my sweatshirt and tiptoed with exaggerated movements over towards the bikes which were lying on the ground not too far away from where we had set up our spot for the evening. I carefully picked up my bike and started to slowly push it forward, heading for the path way up above us which overlooked the little woodland copse we had chosen as our camp.

I managed to climb all the way up the gentle slope and reach the path above us without, so I thought, disturbing Emily. Having reached the path I thought I was practically home and dry. I only had to push my bike forward maybe another fifty or sixty yards along the path and I would be out of sight and out of earshot of Emily. But I spoke too soon for suddenly the eerie stillness of the morning air was rudely and harshly punctuated by the sound of Emily's voice calling up to me from below.

'Twice! You're going to do this to me….. twice!' I could hardly breathe as I heard her words of accusation and sensed her making her way towards me up the slope. I didn't dare look round in case I caught her eye and betrayed my shame and embarrassment for running out on her yet again. I felt like my head was locked into position, like a horse that was wearing blinkers and could only see straight ahead.

'Naomi! No! You fucking……..stop right now!' She had more or less caught up with by now and as her very presence beside me forced me to turn my solemn and unsmiling face towards her she looked deep into my eyes with such bewilderment and anger that all I could say in my defence was 'What?' But I couldn't look at her for very long before averting my gaze as I couldn't bear to see the disappointment in her eyes and on her face – her disappointment in me, which, huge as it must have been, I doubted came close to matching the disappointment I felt in myself at that very moment.

'Don't you dare leave me in your bed again!' she said and I was so disgusted with myself, so flustered and tongue-tied by her justifiable accusations of cowardice and indecisiveness that all I could do was mumble semi-incoherently something about having to go. As she stood there, presumably watching me walk away from her in utter disbelief and despair I simply carried on wheeling my bike forward along the path without once turning round to look back at her. But it was what she said next, behind my back, which chilled me to the core, which stung me all over like a swarm of bees fighting to deliver the killer blow as I lay helpless under the weight of their ferocity.

'I know you, Naomi. I know you're lonely. I think you need someone to want you…..Well….. I do want you…. So be brave…. and want me back.'

Tears welled up in my eyes as I heard these words which were delivered in a voice that seemed damned near close to breaking down completely. I had to bite down hard on my lip a couple of times to stop myself from crying and I tried desperately to block out the words she was saying but they reverberated inside my head like someone was holding a megaphone to the side of my face and screaming at me through it. The further I moved away from her the more the words seemed to echo in my mind as if every step I took to move away from her merely increased my punishment and my feelings of guilt.

Within a few more seconds I knew I must have been out of her sight and so I could have easily jumped on my bike and ridden away, but for some reason I kept on pushing the bike all along the path. It was as though I had accepted the fact that I had to start punishing myself for what I had done to her and that punishment started right now with forcing myself to wheel the bike just a little bit further than was necessary.

Eventually I reached the open country lane that we had turned off from to reach Emily's hidden favourite spot and I got up on my bike and started pedalling as fast as I could down the road. Even that simple act took on a form of punishment as I cycled so furiously that my legs quickly begun to ache with the pain of this frenetic pace that I made myself go along at.

When I got home I tore upstairs to the bathroom and almost literally threw myself into the shower. I wasn't entirely sure what it was that I was trying to wipe away all traces of. Was it the smell and taste and feel of Emily on my skin? Was it my overwhelming shame at my cowardice and the images in my mind of the brutal way I had walked out on Emily once more? Or perhaps I was trying to wash away my confusion and my fears of who I might have become, or what I might be becoming. As I stood there in silence, letting the hot water rush over me, the tears that I fought so hard to hold back earlier on now began to flow. Who was I crying for? Me? Or Emily? Were they tears of self-loathing and embarrassment at the stupid thing I'd done the night before or were they tears of suffocating shame and regret at the stupid thing I'd done that very morning?

I climbed out of the shower, dried myself quickly and returned to my bedroom to get dressed for college. As I got dressed, I stood in front of my mirror and took a long, hard look at myself. What did I see? In all honesty, a very confused and scared young woman who was feeling so far out of her depth that the ground felt like it was giving way beneath her feet. So what did I know with any certainty?

Well, first of all, I really, really liked Emily. In fact I could honestly say that I enjoyed spending time with her more than anyone else I knew, indeed more than anyone else I had met in the last five or ten years. Would I be happy if I hung out with her and really saw nobody else at all? Yes! BUT DID THAT MEAN I FANCIED HER?!!

I mean, for fuck's sake, WE HAD JUST SPENT THE WHOLE OF THE PREVIOUS EVENING MAKING LOVE TO EACH OTHER! Surely that was proof enough that I fancied her, just like I knew Emily fancied me.

BUT I'M NOT GAY! I've never thought that way about any girl in my life! Or was it more truthful to say that I'd never felt that way about any other PERSON before in my life? After all, none of the guys I'd been with previously meant anything to me, did they? Could I think of one guy who'd I'd enjoyed being with as much as Emily? No, not one.

So why does the idea of having these incredible feelings for another girl scare the shit out of me so much? Because I wasn't prepared for them? Was it merely the fact that I didn't have any guidelines to work from, that I had no experiences on which to draw that made me feel so confused and uncertain about the feelings I had developed for Emily? Perhaps I'm making too big a deal of it? Yeah, I slept with a girl. So what?

Are you kidding?! It's the biggest fucking deal of my life!

And was it the best sex I'd ever had in my life? Yep. Only by a country mile, though. Shit, Emily made me tingle and tremble in places in my body I didn't even know I had! What guy would even _find_ those places, let alone know what the fuck to do once he had, more by luck than judgement, stumbled across them? Did I want her to do it all over again? You fucking bet I did!

So if I loved every minute of last night, if I wanted to do it all over again anytime soon, how come I feel so guilty about it, how come I'm terrified of looking her in the face again? Why is life so fucking complicated and confusing? Why can't things just be nice and straightforward and simple? Where can I turn to for help about how I'm feeling?

The instant I posed myself that last question I knew the answer. As hard as it might be to accept it, there was only one person I could even contemplate turning to for help and advice. My mother. The same mother I hardly spoke to nowadays, the mother who frustrated and irritated the shit out of me every single day with all her caring, do-goodying crap, the woman who had turned what was once our peaceful home into some sickening parody of a 1970's style hippy commune. Yep, her. She was the only one who might be capable of understanding and helping me without bursting out laughing or feeling the need to summon the local exorcist to save me from eternal damnation.

I swallowed hard, breathed a few heavy sighs and dragged myself tearfully over to her bedroom, knocking on the door first before letting myself in. What I saw was not what I expected to see in a million years. Mum was in bed alright, but so was Kieran, my politics teacher, the guy who had tried to comfort me by kissing me, only the other day at college, out of some mistaken belief that I had wanted him to. I couldn't believe my eyes. There was nowhere safe for me to hide in my house any more. _My_ house? Jesus, it had long since stopped being my house any more. I felt like a complete stranger in it. Everyone else in the world seemed to feel far more at home in it than I ever did.

I walked out of the room and kept on walking all the way out of the house, pursued hotly by a demented and gobsmacked Kieran, still butt-naked and covering his modesty with his hands. He was apologising desperately for what I 'd just barged in on, saying he had come round to see me the previous night to apologise for the incident at school, that he and Mum had got talking, that he was lonely, blah, blah, blah! Yeah and naturally he shagged my Mum after he'd realised that a shag was out of the question with me! I'd heard enough pathetic excuses from guys in my time to not want to listen to a word more. I told him to fuck off, got on my bike and shot off down the road, feeling utterly frustrated that I hadn't got to speak to Mum about my feelings for Emily and totally pissed off that my home life had now gone beyond a joke.


	9. Chapter 9

**AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

**This chapter takes up the story from where the last one left off with a confused and angry Naomi cycling off to school after finding her Mum in bed with Kieran. Please review if you can! I welcome all constructive comments.**

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I was still livid and bewildered when I got to school and I deliberately avoided hanging out with anyone when I got there. I just wanted to find a quiet room, a quiet corner somewhere and be on my own to try to think things through. There were so many thoughts whizzing around in my head that I felt like it was going to explode. If I wasn't confused enough about how I felt about Emily then I was even more thrown off kilter by the shocking discovery of Kieran in bed with my Mum. I needed to work out in my head what it had been exactly that had so upset and angered me when I found them together.

After a quick tour of the college building I was amazed to find an empty classroom to take refuge in and I gratefully grabbed the opportunity to dive into it and hole up there for a while. The peaceful stillness of the room was calming and comforting, which I badly needed right then – my nerves were in shreds and my self-confidence was hanging by a thread after one of the most traumatic twenty-four hours of my life. I had to think things through all over again. I had hoped maybe to get some answers from Mum but all I got from my spur of the moment visit to her bedroom were not answers but even more questions than I had gone there with.

I was furious and disappointed to find Kieran in bed with Mum but I wondered if I would have felt just the same whichever guy it had been. Maybe it felt worse because it was Kieran and after what had happened between us the other day at school. It certainly made me wonder whether I could ever trust any guy ever again. Are they all full of shit or what? He came round to see me and apologise, I wasn't there so he happened to fall into bed with Mum – was that how I was supposed to see it? Which of the two of us am I supposed to think he had the hots for? Or did it not really matter to him?

He said he and Mum got talking and that she was really nice – so is that all the encouragement men need to think that the next obvious step is to sleep with the woman? I didn't know if I was being harsh on Kieran who I still liked, when all's said and done. He's no worse than any other guys and probably a lot better but he's still a guy and so inevitably sees almost everything differently from us girls. At that precise moment I felt an overwhelming need to be with another woman and the one I most wanted to be with was Emily, of course. The last time I was with her I had run away from her because I was confused and embarrassed about the feelings I was developing for her. Now, I wanted to hear her voice and see her face to reassure me that the whole world wasn't out to get me and put me down.

I had spent what seemed like hours letting these thoughts and feelings run riot in my head but now I took my phone out and scrolled through the list of contacts, eventually coming to rest on Emily's name. My finger hovered over the bar on the tiny screen for an age as I wondered whether I should call her or not. I was scared what reaction I would get from her and I wasn't sure what I would say to her. Please forgive me, Emily, for running away from you – AGAIN. Please come and see me, I need you because my life at home is a mess, Mum's in bed with Kieran and I only feel wanted and needed when I'm with you. Did that sound apologetic and convincing enough?

I hesitated, my finger poised above the call button as I tried to summon up the courage to call her and eat humble pie. I'll never know, I guess, if I would have called her or not as I didn't get the chance to find out. I heard the sound of voices coming from outside the door to the classroom and as I instantly got up and turned round I was able to make out the figures of Harriet and Doug on the point of entering the room. For some unknown reason I didn't want them to find me there so I looked around rapidly for somewhere to hide. The choices were rather limited. In fact I only had one viable option which would offer me the chance of not being found which was to dive down underneath the teacher's desk, which I did just as they came into the room talking and carrying a couple of boxes.

From my slightly uncomfortable position doubled up under the desk but at least totally hidden from their view I was able to hear every word of their conversation and what a conversation it turned out to be! I had one scary moment right at the beginning when I realised that they had made straight for the teacher's desk and Doug came round to stand behind it, offering me a close up view of his feet, legs and crotch! Not the sight I most wanted to see after the morning I had just had. It quickly became clear that they had come into the classroom to count all the votes cast in the election. I could hear them put the boxes down onto the desk and then empty the contents on top of the desk, the dozens and dozens of votes cast by the rest of the students for their president.

While they were doing that I could hear them talking about the election and to my utter astonishment I heard Harriet telling Doug that there was one thing she wanted to make absolutely clear and that was that 'that boy will not win.' It was blindingly obvious she was referring to Cook and when Doug suggested that he might very well win- which to my mind was equally obvious- she went completely nuts. Some of the voting papers that Doug had emptied out of his box fell onto the floor just a little way in front of where I was hiding and I could sense him bending down to pick them up.

Horror of horrors! He couldn't possibly fail to see me crouching there underneath the desk. What on earth could I say to explain what the hell I was doing there? They might have suspected that I was deliberately hiding there to eavesdrop on the voting count! But even if they weren't that suspicious of my motives it would still be pretty damn difficult to come up with a convincing, plausible reason why I should be hiding where I was without coming over as a total dickhead or worse, a right fruitcake.

Fortunately at the very moment I could see him bending down to pick up the dropped voting slips, only seconds away from him coming face to face with me in hilarious and bizarre circumstances, Harriet's raised and sharp tone of voice drew his gaze back up towards her and he grabbed the few slips that had fallen down blindly by feeling for them and without looking down to see them. He then straightened up again and so disaster was averted by the narrowest of margins. I heaved a heavy, silent sigh of relief and concentrated on listening to what they were saying. It was extremely revealing!

Harriet was clearly hell bent on fixing the voting by concealing most, if not all, of the votes for Cook and from what she seemed to be saying and from the sounds I could hear she was stuffing all the slips for Cook in her bra! Unbelievable! That a college director could stoop so low as to cheat the democratic voting process just to get the result she wanted – or perhaps more accurately, to ensure she didn't get the result she wanted least. I was outraged at the scam I had unwittingly uncovered, even if I agreed with her that Cook to be elected president was the last thing I wanted to see happen. That was not the point. If Cook had got the most votes then sadly, tragically he had to be declared the winner, much as that would have offended all my sensibilities.

Naturally enough Doug was browbeaten and railroaded into going along with Harriet's devious scheme out of sheer fear of her and she made sure of getting his support by blackmailing him, mentioning something about a career review assessment with her next week. The devious, sly, unprincipled little cow! What a fine example she's turned out to be for us students to look up to and aspire to!!

Eventually they finished counting all the voting papers and then they collected them all up along with the ballot boxes and left the room in virtual silence, still not having realised I had overheard every moment of their sordid little conspiracy. When they had gone I crawled out from under the desk and sat on it awhile, contemplating what course of action I should take. I knew I had to do something. I couldn't just let things rest, my principles and highly tuned and developed sense of human justice wouldn't allow me to stand by silently and do nothing. But what to do and how to do it? That was the question.

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The announcement of the student president results took place later that day in the student common room and the whole school squeezed in to the room to hear Harriet read out the winner's name. Of course it was no surprise to me when she called out my name as the winner but I was the only person, other than Doug and Harriet naturally, who wasn't flabbergasted. All three candidates gathered behind Doug and Harriet could plainly hear the audible gasps and murmurs of disbelief and astonishment of the other students when my name was read out by the college director. Cook, unsurprisingly, looked gobsmacked and in a state of dazed shock and looked despairingly around him for help, as if half expecting someone to step forward and admit that it was all a bit of a joke and that he was indeed the clear winner.

For a few brief seconds you could have heard a pin drop and then, as the announcement slowly began to sink in, there were louder mumblings and murmurings, muffled whispers and cries of 'Fix!' and 'Unbelievable'. General discontentment was very much the order of the day. There was the whiff of mutiny in the air and this was the backdrop I was called upon to face when Harriet, who was beaming from ear to ear, asked me to step forward and say a few words to the gathered seething masses.

I edged forward a bit nervously at first, feeling the cold, hard, contemptuous stares of all the Cook supporters boring into me. They weren't exactly sure who they ought to blame for this apparent miscarriage of justice, this utter travesty of a democratic election process so for the moment they seemed ready and eager to vent their collective spleen on me. At that moment I felt completely alone in the middle of a crowded room full of raging humanity and yet ironically, as I slowly took in everything around me, I felt more confident and self-assured about what I was going to do and say than for a very long time. All the confusions, doubts and uncertainties that had plagued me for the last few days and nights seemed to vanish in the foggy haze of discontentment that surrounded me and I felt empowered by a self-belief that seemed to pull me along and give me inner strength.

I turned towards a still smiling Harriet, looked at her for a moment and then said in a clear and confident voice, 'You should have more confidence.' She looked puzzled by my opening gambit and then as I stared at her chest I continued, 'I mean, your tits are fine.'

The whole crowd of students burst out laughing at my observation which was probably the last thing they expected me to be saying to our fearsome college director. This reaction fuelled me with even greater confidence not to hold back but to go on with even more ruthless determination to expose the cheats who had let us all down.

'Probably a bit flat but there's no need to stuff your bra.' Saying that, I stepped boldly forward until I was standing right close up to her, reached my hands inside her bra and pulled out wave after wave of voting slips from either side of her generous cleavage. I could hear the whole room gasp with astonishment for the second time inside the last couple of minutes and then the gasps quickly turned to peals of laughter as the whole school immediately cottoned on to what must have happened and what I had just exposed.

'Now I'm not sure but were these votes counted?' As I examined them all in turn I called out the name which appeared on each slip. 'Cook. Cook. Cook. Cook.' Harriet must have felt furious, embarrassed and humiliated but I've got to hand it to her, she did try to carry on regardless, whispering to me not to be so silly but to celebrate my victory. However I was not to be deterred from my self- appointed mission of mercy and I ignored her pleas to ignore the evidence I had presented before the whole school.

'No, Cook won. He's our president.'

After that all hell more or less broke loose. There was really only time for me to turn round and wink at Cook, who was already smiling in triumph, hands held high above his head, and milking the wild applause and cheers of all the students who had risen to their feet in celebration at my announcement of their hero being declared the true winner.

'My first act, as president of this school, is to declare this riot open!!' Cook's first words spoken as the democratically student president set off an absolute riot as he immediately grabbed a fire extinguisher and let it off whereupon the whole room dissolved into total and utter chaos. Even I was caught up in the fervour and fever of the wild celebrations as I ran over to press the fire alarm. As I did so I looked back across the room and saw Emily for the first time since early in the morning. She was standing all on her own on the other side of the room, arms folded, not joining in any of the revelry and chaos, but just staring right at me, indeed it felt like almost right through me, with an impassive expressionless look on her face.

I returned her gaze from where I was standing but couldn't bring myself to go across to talk to her, instead turning on my heels to follow the massed rank and file of students who by now had moved into the corridors to spread the word and the rapidly developing riot further still. All manner of things were being thrown around and broken as evidenced by the sounds of smashed objects and broken glass but I took no part, turning my back on it all as I contemplated what my next move should be and, in particular, thinking hard about Emily and that look she had just given me.

I had a brief, touching and ultimately satisfying conversation in the corridor with Kieran during which he apologised so genuinely and humbly yet again for having acted like a twat before that I was happy to accept it with good grace. I asked him if he liked Mum and when he admitted he did I asked him to go and tell her. She deserves a little happiness, I thought, and he was a nice guy after all, despite his crass error of judgement with me He thanked me and I moved on, intent on going back home to get away from the riot and give some more thought to me and Emily.

I was making my way down the corridor, heading for the exit when I suddenly caught sight through a classroom window of Cook on all fours fumbling around the teacher's desk. I went in and shut the door behind me, the sound of which immediately made him look up. When he saw it was me he smiled but carried on rifling through the drawers as he explained the reason for his furtive behaviour.

'I'm looking for three pornos, two Ninja stars and a butt plug that Kieran fucker confiscated.'

'Think you'll be expelled for this?' I asked him as the shouts and screams of the rioting students could be distinctly heard even from inside the classroom.

'No,' was his cheerful response as he got up from the floor. 'They'll have to explain why, wouldn't they? I reckon when this is over they'll try and pretend it never happened.'

'You're probably right,' I said with a wry grin.

'I only really entered to piss you off, obviously,' he confirmed my suspicions with a broad smile.

'Obviously,' I agreed. It was funny how he seemed more human and likeable all of a sudden. The cocky arrogant Cook had been replaced by a rather gentler and warmer person who one could imagine actually liking, with a bit of effort. I came over towards him and sat down on a desk, let out a huge sigh and asked him in all seriousness 'Do you ever wish things were just simple?'

He grinned back at me and said 'Things are simple. I won, now we get to willy waggle, yeah?'

I smiled, shook my head and replied 'I never said….' before he interrupted me.

'Are you sure? Are you actually sure you never said cos…..'

'Hang on,' I said, finding it impossible laugh at the sheer honest and good natured cheek of the guy.

'I think we should willy waggle,' he persisted but not in a threatening way, but rather with a twinkle in his eye and a ever widening grin on his face. Damn it! The bastard _did _have a kind of charm about him, I couldn't deny it. And at least you always knew exactly where you stood with Cook – you'd never die wondering with him what he meant. He did exactly what it said on the tin. What you saw was what you got with Cook. I could see what he meant when he said 'things are simple.' To him life was very simple; it was just other people who complicated it as far as he was concerned.

It was another one of those moments when I decided to act spontaneously without thinking about what I was doing or why. I got up, went over to him and kissed him. He didn't put up a fight, if truth be told. His arms were round my neck and kissing me back quicker than you could say Jack Robinson. I pulled away gently after a few seconds and looked right into his eyes, searching for a reaction. He must have been surprised by me having taken the initiative like that but if he was, he didn't show it.

'They all come to the Cookie Monster in the end,' was his only smiling response. He began to push me slowly but firmly back across the room and down onto a row of desks at the back of the room, all the while his lips clamped over mine as we kissed passionately and panted hard. As we writhed around on top of the desk, locked in a tight embrace, books falling down to the floor all around us the pair of us also soon fell off the desk and on to the floor. I let out an involuntary scream but we merely picked ourselves back up and continued kissing, our arms around each other.

But after a short while I heard alarm bells ringing violently in my head. I heard a little voice inside my mind screaming at me. 'What the fuck are you doing?! What about Emily? Doesn't she matter to you any more? Is this really what you want? Was last night nothing but a bad dream, a nightmare? Do you truly feel comfortable doing this?

I pulled away from Cook, saying quietly but firmly 'Cook! Cook!'

He looked at me with a puzzled expression, his eyes asking me what the hell he had been doing wrong. But the truth was he hadn't done anything wrong, he was just being himself and I couldn't blame him for that. **I** was the one who had been doing wrong but of course he wasn't to know that. He didn't know about me and Emily and the problem was, nor did I - until that very moment! The idea of kissing Cook and even getting off with him had seemed okay, after a fashion; until I started actually doing it and then it soon became obvious to me it was the worst thing in the world I could have done. I just couldn't go through with it. Something was holding me back and I thought I knew what that something was.

'This isn't right,' I said to him, a touch sheepishly as I looked up at him.

'What?' he replied, still confused at the obviously mixed message I must have been sending out to him

'I'm sorry but this just isn't a goer.'

Cook looked at me for a moment then just said 'Fair enough,' and started to do up his trousers. I was a bit taken aback at how relaxed he seemed about my change of heart and made no effort to hide it.

'Is that it? You're not even going to try and convince me? Most guys would,'

'Most guys aren't me, babe. You fancy me, I'm cool with it. So there's obviously another reason why you won't fuck me and it's probably a good one cos you're…….you know…clever.'

I was genuinely and pleasantly surprised by what he said. I would never have credited him with so much insight and I was touched, so much so that I instinctively leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. I smiled up at him as he smiled back at me and I said 'You're a lot nicer than most people think, aren't you, Cook?'

.'Fuck you,' he replied, smiling hugely at me.

'Fuck you right back,' I said and with that parting touché I slowly left him behind and went out of the room.

As I left the college building the riot had reached epic proportions with cars having been set alight or overturned and the whole area a complete train wreck, with paper, tissue and assorted debris lying around everywhere. The place frankly looked as if it had just been bombed out of all recognisable existence. My head felt pretty much the same way. It was in a total whirl and I desperately needed to get away from this scene of carnage, go home and try to take stock of what these last two extraordinary days might have told me about me and my whole fucking life.


	10. Chapter 10

**AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

**This chapter follows directly on from the previous one where we saw Naomi leaving the student riots at college behind her, after deciding against getting it on with Cook, and returning home. **

**This is very likely to be the FINAL chapter of this story (unless I decide to do an additional 'original' chapter imagining the immediate aftermath of the cat flap scene). Therefore this could be your last chance to comment on not only this chapter but the story as a whole. Please review if you can! I would love to hear your thoughts on whether my version of this episode 'worked' for you or not.**

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When I got back home the first thing I noticed straight away was that the house appeared to be completely deserted. Not only was there no sign of either Mum or Kieran but nor was there anyone else to be seen or heard. The whole place had an eerie, almost ghostly feel to it that initially was quite unnerving. I had become so used to sharing my own home with an indeterminate and forever changing assortment of complete strangers, vagabonds, drop-outs and scroungers that to find them seemingly all gone came as more of a shock than a blessed relief.

I guessed Mum must have kicked them out – or more likely, knowing my Mum as I did, politely, sweetly but firmly asked them to leave. I could only assume that my extreme reaction to finding Kieran in bed with her this morning must have finally persuaded Mum that something had to be done if she was to win back my trust in her again. She must have realised that my inopportune discovery had been the final straw, that the line had eventually been crossed as far as retaining any hope I might still have had of leading a normal home life. All credit to her then, I thought, if that was what had happened. Finally she has seen the light and not before time, too!

I sat down at the kitchen table which was still strewn with all the remnants of that morning's breakfast and contented myself for a while with gently lapping up the unaccustomed peacefulness of the house. It was wonderful just to be able to hear myself think without having my train of thought constantly interrupted by the sounds of total strangers shouting, swearing and rowing with each other. This was as blissful a domestic environment as I could remember enjoying for an incredibly long time. I just prayed it wasn't merely a temporary arrangement and that the truckload of waifs and strays and social misfits wouldn't be back here again in a couple of day's time.

As I sat there in a semi trance-like state, my mind wandered back to the events of that day as I tried to re-evaluate exactly where I stood with Emily, Cook, Kieran and everyone else who had featured so prominently in the last hectic twenty-four hours or so of my life. It felt like I had experienced every conceivable emotion in those twenty-four hours which had left me mentally exhausted and physically drained.

At various moments in the course of the last day or so I could distinctly recall feeling blissfully happy, confused, frightened, angry, resentful, proud and guilty. Occasionally I had been aware that I was experiencing several of those emotions at the same time and at other moments I had struggled to find the right word to adequately describe how I was feeling – hence the frequent bouts of confusion and uncertainty that had been tormenting me continually on and off and had made life so difficult for me to get any sense of proper perspective.

Unfortunately I hadn't got very far in my quiet contemplations when a familiar voice broke through the random memories of my thoughts and dragged me back to the present with a jolt, almost making me cry out in surprise and causing me to jerk my head up from where it had been gently resting on my left hand.

'You noticed how quiet it is?' asked my Mum who had obviously crept into the kitchen totally unheard by me and presumably must have in her bedroom (alone or with Kieran?) all the time I was here. She stood by the door with a nervous smile and an anxious look on her face. She was probably unsure what mood I would be in, seeing as the last time she saw me I was on the verge of tears at seeing her in bed with Kieran and had stormed out of the house leaving a naked politics teacher trailing helplessly in my wake.

'You kicked them out?' I responded without a smile but without feeling the need to show even a trace of anger or resentment in my voice either.

'Probably take a few days to clean the place, right?' Mum thereby confirmed my suspicions that she had indeed reclaimed the rights to our own home and that we were back to being a normal one parent family again, much to my unspoken joy and relief.

She came and sat down on one of the other chairs at the table and said 'What did you want to talk to me about this morning?'

'Is anyone here?' I asked, motioning vaguely towards the rest of the house with a gentle tilt of my head. I certainly had no desire to bring up the subject of my confusion over my feelings for Emily if there were any strangers still lurking around somewhere within earshot.

Mum smiled one of her broad, cheerful, happy-go-lucky smiles as she replied 'Just some man who seemed to think you wanted him back in my bed. He's very entertaining for an Irishman.'

She looked at me with an expression of quiet contentment now that she could see I wasn't going to bite her head off at the mention of Kieran being back in her bed again and she waited patiently for me to speak. I wasn't sure where or how to begin though and put off the crucial moment still further by commenting on how peaceful it was, which Mum acknowledged. Just as I was willing myself to stop being a complete coward and bloody well start telling her about my confused state of mind over me and Emily she suddenly took the conversation in a totally different and random direction - or so it seemed to me at the time.

'Did I ever tell you how angry I was when I found out I was pregnant with you?' she asked, looking me straight in the eyes, but with a cheery tone to her voice. This sudden change of topic rather took me by surprise since it came right out of the blue and seemed to have nothing to do with anything we had been discussing before. I had no idea where it was going to lead but it didn't obviously look like it was going to help me with my problems and I let Mum know that in a roundabout sort of way.

'Is this going to cheer me up, coz I need cheering up, okay?' I replied, returning her full on gaze impassively but not unsympathetically.

'Getting there,' she said, smiling at me, as if begging me to indulge her for a few moments which I duly did.

'I'd met the man of my dreams, I wanted to travel the world, fuck on every beach in India, be in love, and then I found out I was pregnant.'

I looked down at the table and felt my heart grow heavy listening to those words which sounded, taking them purely at face value, as the ultimate accusation by a mother to her child of causing her untold grief and misery.

'I can only apologise,' I muttered and turned my head to the side away from my Mum, biting my lip as I did so, as I didn't want her to see the tears that were starting to form at the back of my eyes.

'And….. you know, your Dad turned out to be a shitty little prick and it was all a little bit rubbish'…….She paused long enough for me to look up at her before she continued 'until you came along and made my life complete ……..and actually rather fucking wonderful.' She gave me one of the biggest smiles I can ever remember her giving me after making that extraordinary confession.

If her previous words had made me feel horribly, if totally irrationally, guilty for having apparently fucked up all her dreams, her hopes and desires for a blissfully carefree early life together with my Dad, then these last words had the complete opposite effect. It had never occurred to me before that **I **might have been the principal cause of her constantly happy, laid back, often infuriatingly cheerful and optimistic attitude to life.

I never thought I meant that much to her as we had hardly enjoyed what I would describe as a really close mother-daughter relationship, particularly since Dad left us.

But it would appear I had got that completely wrong and that I was the reason for her being so happy with her life. It was an incredibly humbling and comforting thing to hear said about you and it lifted my spirits and made my heart sing inside. Outwardly, of course, I was almost lost for words, managing only to come out with a wholly inadequate 'I did that?' as I forced a weak, unconvincing smile which didn't do justice to how I was feeling inside.

'I wasn't expecting it,' Mum went on to say with a broad smile. 'The people who make us happy are never the people you expect.' She paused once more and it seemed like she was searching in her head for one final piece of maternal wisdom to impart to me and sure enough, out it came. 'So when you find someone…….. you've got to cherish it.'

I looked up at her as she stared at me so intently that it felt like she was trying to work out right there and then if I had appreciated the importance of what she had just said and if it had been of any help to me with whatever problem I had wanted to talk to her about earlier on. I suspected that what she had just said could have been the answer I was looking for to my questions but I desperately needed time on my own to properly think it through.

Without any warning she suddenly got up and came across to me, bent down and ever so lightly kissed me on the forehead, something she hadn't done to me – or perhaps I hadn't allowed her to do to me – for ever such a long time.

'Right then,' she said, completely changing the subject as well as the mood in the room, which she always seemed to have an unerring ability to do at will, ' I've got an Irishman waiting for me who says all he needs for happiness is regular sex and potatoes.' With a wry smile she turned on her heels and quietly left the room, leaving me sitting alone at the table, turning over in my mind all the things she had said to me in the last five minutes.

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I went up to the front door and rung the bell - twice in fact - and waited nervously and yet, at the same time, impatiently for someone to answer. I had decided after careful thought that I would wait until after the whole Fitch family had eaten their dinner to call on Emily and tell her the momentous conclusion I had reached about our relationship.

I had more or less worked out in my head before leaving home what I wanted to say to her but I had no way of knowing how I would feel when I actually came face to face with her. For all I knew I might very well panic, dry up completely or go to pieces and become an emotional wreck the minute the small, delicate, gorgeous redhead took one look at me. That was assuming she even wanted to see me at all! That was very much in the balance and open to doubt bearing in mind the look she gave me when I last saw her at college.

After nobody seemed to be responding to my first two rings at the doorbell I was on the point of ringing a third time when I heard footsteps approaching the door and the unmistakeable sound of someone sniffing quite loudly, like they were suffering from a cold – or perhaps had just been crying! My heart started to ache so much that I thought it was going to burst through my chest as I speculated wildly whether Emily could have spent the whole afternoon crying over me.

As the advancing figure came to a halt by the door I heard Emily's familiar deep, sexy tones speak to me whilst still sniffling.

'I'm not going to open the door,' she said in a flat voice which appeared to be devoid of all feeling but which screamed to me of sadness and disappointment- at what? Me, presumably, and I felt so guilty at what I must have put her through recently. It made me all the more determined to unburden myself and lay myself metaphorically bare in front of her – even if it had to be through a closed door. 'My face is all…. puffy. I've been…….crying a bit.'

'I don't care,' I said, swallowing hard and I meant it. I wasn't running away this time and that was final. If sitting on the doorstep out in the freezing cold was the only way I was going to be able to talk to her tonight and tell her how I really felt about her, then so be it. I had brought this on myself and I was just going to have to lump it. I showed her how determined I was to stay with her by lying down on the doorstep and I waited anxiously to see how she would react, since she would have clearly seen me sit down through the frosted panes of the front door. After a worrying few seconds I was able to hear her follow suit and soon I sensed we were both lying down either side of the door, virtually mirror images of one another.

I knew it was down to me to make the first move but as I prepared myself to speak, all the fine words I had rehearsed in my mind beforehand seemed to have flown away, leaving me with nothing to call upon except my raw emotions and my true feelings with which to express myself right then.

'I do… want someone……..need someone. You're right.' I was practically choking on the words as they came out. My mouth felt as dry as a bone and I was welling up inside as I struggled to contain my emotions. I had an overwhelming feeling that this was one of the most important moments of my life and I was terrified that I would screw it all up with one badly chosen word or one ill-judged reaction to anything Emily might say. I could hear her breathing heavily and sniffling on the other side of the door as I waited to see how she would respond to this initial confession.

'And?' was her simple but tearful reply and it was clear from the brevity of that response that she needed more from me before she would commit herself to any kind of explanation of how _she_ felt about me right then.

'And …when I'm with you I feel like I'm a better person. I feel happier…….less… alone……less lonely.' It was all I could do not to break down in floods of tears as I stuttered and stammered my way through the most painful and brutally honest admission of emotional loneliness I could ever have imagined possible. I was having to take huge, deep breaths after every few words just to be able to keep going and my head was spinning with the intense concentration required not to break down completely.

As I sat there taking deep breaths and sniffling just like Emily had been, all of a sudden a hand came out through the cat flap at the bottom of the door, felt blindly for my hands and found them. I gratefully slipped the fingers of my right hand into hers. We held on to each other like that as I continued, my eyes hypnotically drawn down to where our intermingled fingers gently and comfortingly squeezed and caressed each other on my lap.

'It's not as simple as that, is it.....being with someone?'

'Isn't it?' Emily replied, in a small, tearful voice.

'No……..I mean…..I don't know……..I mean, I don't think so.' I was practically in tears by now. I had long since given up any pretence of trying to remain calm and controlled as my emotions completely took over and reduced me to little more than a quivering, gibbering wreck. I was taking deeper and deeper breaths, gasping in to my lungs huge gulps of air as I fought to stop the tears from streaming down my face.

The fact that Emily couldn't actually see the emotionally disturbed state I was in didn't make me feel any better. I knew she could hear how upset and distraught I was and, if anything, that made the situation even worse. After all, what can be more distressing than _hearing _the pain andsuffering of someone you care deeply about?

'Can't we just sit like this…..for a bit?' I pleaded through half-formed sobs as I felt my face screwing up in the effort not to burst out crying which was increasingly draining me of all my strength. I could hear Emily crying and sniffing on the other side of the door and I gripped her hand with both of mine even more firmly to show how much I cared about her. I needed her to realise that I was feeling her pain and suffering just as sharply on my side of the great divide that was this door which, although separating us physically, had the bizarre effect of bringing us emotionally closer together than we'd ever been before – closer even than we had been the previous night when we'd made love for the first time.

'Yeah…..we can……for a bit,' said Emily in another tearful near whisper as we clung on to each other's hands for dear life, both terrified of moving position in case we lost the magic of our shared emotional, painful yet cathartic suffering.


End file.
